The Path Not Taken

Chapter 12: Seems like old times

"So, twenty years, huh?" Brandon is now sitting on the stool next to her, chomping on an onion ring that looks even better than it smells before picking up his equally tantalizing burger.

Their initial pleasantries concluded, they had settled into a comfortable conversation as they waited for their bar top dinner.

"Twenty years." Katie repeats as confirmation, nodding her head as she stares straight ahead, not turning toward him as she chews on a combination of chopped romaine, tomato and chicken.

"What does twenty years later look like for you?" Brandon inquires.

"For me?" She questions.

"Yeah. I mean, you know why I'm here and my relationship status or lack thereof. But you're clearly married." he states, this time gesturing toward her bejeweled left ring finger. He continues. "What brings you to the bar of a hotel restaurant on a beautiful fall night in downtown Saratoga? What have you been up to and who are you today?"

"Wow this has taken a rather dramatic turn," Kate thinks.

She can't help it. At once she is laughing.

"Who am I?" She jokes.

Brandon looks around in confusion. Apparently it didn't sound as funny to him as it had to her. Is this how he talked now? Was there no irony in his question? Was this a pick up line?!?

At the last thought she laughs harder.

He stares back at her, not laughing in return.

Composing herself, she takes a deep breath, a sip of her water and prepares to answer Brandon seriously.

"Who am I." She states this time. "Well, let's see. I work 40 plus hours a week at the same company I've worked at for the last almost 18 years. I decided to go for a promotion and department change a year ago and regretted it almost immediately and continue to regret it daily. I have two girls who are only a year apart whom I love with every beat of my heart and yet I vacillate between feeling burnt out on getting them here, there and everywhere, making sure they're fed, bathed, homework is done and are generally cared for, and knowing this is only a "season of life" and their need for me will abruptly end and way sooner than I'm ready for. I'm well into my 40's and realizing more and more every day what that means as a woman. And I'm just generally burnt the eff out."

And then, holding up her Malibu and Diet Coke she concludes with a - somewhat - devious smile and a, "Cheers!"

Now it's Brandon's turn to laugh.

"What's so funny?" Kate asks, genuinely puzzled.

"It's just..." he has to stop to take a breath from laughing.

"What?!?" She asks, almost demanding at this point. What about her current situation is so funny? Does her suburban working mom lifestyle seem pathetic next to his glossy polished one?

Brandon stops laughing when he realizes that Kate has stopped and she seems genuinely upset.

"I'm sorry." Brandon says, clearing his throat. Holding up both hands in surrender he says again,"I'm sorry, Katie. Really. It wasn't  what you said, it was just how you said it. It cracked me up a bit."

Still confused she raises her eyebrows in a gesture for him to clarify his statement.

"It's just that the Katie I knew would never censor herself. When you said you didn't know who the "eff" you were it just struck me as funny." He continues, spreading his hands to emphasize his apology.

"Yeah, well... times change I suppose." Kate replied, taking another long sip of her drink and turning back toward the TV above the bar.