Have some incorrect quotes cuz I think they're funny
— — —
Y/N: What is the one thing I told you not to do?
Picky: Burn the house down.
Y/N: And what did you do?
Picky: I made dinner.
Y/N:
Picky:
Y/N:
Picky: And burnt the house down.
DogDay, staring at Dorothy: I would die for you.
Dorothy, doing their own thing: Then perish.
Y/N: If you really want to get back at a man, scare him with a pregnancy test. I've got a whole box of old positives at my house.
Dorothy: You're an American treasure.
Dorothy: We call that a traumatic experience.
Dorothy, turning to DogDay: Not a "bruh moment".
Dorothy, turning to CatNap: Not "sadge".
Dorothy, turning to Kickin: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".
Kickin: I'm going to get myself some soup.
Y/N: Be careful not to burn yourself, it's hot.
Kickin: Pfft, I won't burn myself.
*30 seconds later*
Kickin, entering the room: I burned myself.
Y/N: I just had a long talk with Kickin and Hoppy about hitting and now they are yelling "it's my turn to perpetuate the cycle of violence" before hitting each other.
Y/N: I just heard Dorothy call DogDay a "F-ing liar" because he barked like someone was at the door and no one was there.
Y/N: I am going to need you to swear-
Dorothy: Fuck.
Y/N:
Y/N: ...swear as in promise.
DogDay: That's why we needed to get an expert.
Dorothy: Oh, really? Who did you get?
DogDay: *stares*
Dorothy: Oh! Right, that's me... Yes.
DogDay: Where's Dorothy?
CatNap: Around.
DogDay: Around?
DogDay: You don't have any idea, do you?
Dorothy, dropping down from above: Did you know there's a space above the ceiling?
DogDay, jumping out of Dorothy's closet: BOO!
Dorothy:
DogDay:
Dorothy:
DogDay: *makes a sad face*
Dorothy: Ahh! Oh my god! You scared me!
*The gang is learning CPR on a test dummy*
Bubba: So, assessing the situation. Are they breathing?
CatNap: No, Bubba. They are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs.
Bubba: No, that's not part of it—
CatNap: Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what kind of quality of life do we have there?
Bobby: I would want to live with no legs.
CatNap: How about no arms? No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now, Bobby. You don't do anything.
Bubba: All right, well, lets get back to it. 'Cause you're losing him.
CatNap: *pumps frantically*
Bubba: Okay, too fast. Everyone, we need to pump at a pace of a 100 beats per minute.
CatNap: Okay, that's uh, hard to keep track. How many is that per hour?
CraftyCorn: How's that gonna help you?
CatNap: I will divide and then count to it.
CraftyCorn: Right.
Bubba: Okay. Well, a good trick is to pump to the tune of 'Staying Alive' by the Bee Gees. Do you know that song?
CatNap: Yes, yes I do. I love that song. *clears throat, begins to sing* First I was afraid, I was petrified.
Y/N: Did you just refer to a knife as a "people-opener"?
Dorothy:
Dorothy: ...Should I not have?
CatNap: We can't lose. Because we have this. *points to their chest*
DogDay: We have heart?
CatNap: Heart? No, me. I'm pointing at myself. I'm going to win this for us.
Hoppy: Dorothy is not a morning person. Or a night person. There's really only about seven minutes a day you are fun to be around.
Dorothy: The best part is you never know when they're coming.
Dorothy: I'm going to take a shower, I'll be right back.
DogDay: Why are you telling me this, I don't care.
DogDay, right after Dorothy leaves the room: I miss them already.
DogDay: Good morning!
Dorothy: Bold statement.
Picky: The Ocean is a soup.
Bubba:
Bubba: Do elaborate.
Picky: What are needed for something to be a soup?
Bubba: Erm... Water, salt, some form of vegetation, and personally I prefer some meat in mine.
Picky: *Tilts head*
Bubba: The Ocean is a Soup.
Picky: The Ocean is a Soup.
CatNap: I'm never donating blood ever again.
CatNap: The second you walk through the door, it's just one invasive question after another!
CatNap: 'Where did you get it?' 'Why is it in a bucket?' I mean, do you want it or not?
Bobby: Hey, are you okay?
Dorothy: Yeah.
Bobby: You don't look okay...
Dorothy: Then stop looking.
Kickin: How did none of you hear what I just said?!
Picky: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.
CraftyCorn: I got distracted halfway through.
DogDay: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.
Dorothy: If I die, you can have what little I own.
DogDay: Wait. What do you mean "if" you die?
Dorothy: My unending existence is fuelled by pure spite, that of which the painful experiences of life have rendered me full.
DogDay:
Y/N: *Sighs* Let me call your therapist again.
Kickin: Think you can answer some questions without the usual level of sarcasm?
Dorothy: If you can ask the questions without the usual level of stupid.
YOU ARE READING
An odd little family (smiling critters x mother figure reader + sister figure oc
FanfictionY/N L/N is a single mother, taking care of her adopted daughter, Dorothy, while also juggling both a night job and a day job. Other than that she lives a fairly quiet and calm life, that is until a mysterious box labeled, "the Smiling Critters" appe...
