HEAVEN LEIGH TURNER

Chapter 22

HEAVEN'S POV

I am running in the middle of the woods without knowing where my destination is. I want to be alone, I don't want anyone to find me right now, not my friends nor my best friend— especially not her.

I keep running not minding the drops of the rain in my skin. Ang galing naman ng timing parang dinadamayan ako ng langit, natatawa na lang ako sa naiisip ko.

Lord, ito ba ang way mo para sabihin na alam mo ang pinagdadaanan ko? Kasi kung oo, bakit mo kailangan iparanas sa akin ito? Bakit ang sakit-sakit? Gusto ko lang naman magmahal at mahalin, mahirap ba ang hinihingi ko?

Nagmahal lang naman ako, Lord.

Bumalik na naman sa akin ang sakit na naramdaman ko kanina at alam kong hindi ito madali mawala.

Everything she said still lingers in my mind.

"I'm in love with you, and I keep falling in. How about you? Do you feel the same? "I asked while smiling, hiding my nervousness.

This is it; I can't hide it anymore, and I totally admitted to myself that this beautiful creation of God captured my heart. For sure, my best friend will be proud of me for confronting this woman who made me feel an unfamiliar emotion.

She still not showing any emotions though I am used to it. Sa araw-araw ba naman naming pagkikita at pagsasama ay kabisado ko na siya. She never shows emotion not even a glimpse of her smile.

"I know this is a sudden confession, I just can't hold it anymore. I feel like I'm going to explode any minute if I won't say this to you" She's hushed that's when I felt agitated.

"Hey, say something." I said and reach her wrist and about to slide it to her hand to squeeze her palm but, she pulled her hand like I am a dirt trying to stain her. I was hurt with her action and I know she saw it in my eyes kaya yumuko ako para itago kahit alam kong huli na para roon.

"You misunderstood my actions, didn't you?" I froze the moment I heard her say that. Alam kong malamig ang boses niya pero hindi ko alam na mas may ilalamig pa pala iyon.

I slowly look up and I swear to God, I regret looking at her right now. Her eyes are emotionless, her look send needles in my heart. Hindi ako kilala ng mga tingin niya, iyon ang nakikita ko.

"I don't love you, I never did." May isasakit pa ba itong nararamdaman ko ngayon? Hindi ko na kasi ramdam ang paghinga ko sa sakit na raramdaman ko. Gusto kong pigilin ang luhang gusto kumawala sa mga mata ko pero hindi ko kaya kahit huminga na ako ng malalim.

"Ano ang ibig sabihin ng mga pinakita mo sa akin? Iyong mga pinaramdam mo na alam nating pareho na labas na sa responsibilidad mo?" Tanong ko kahit parang may nakabara sa lalamunan ko.

"It means nothing to me. I am just like that sometimes to others and I didn't see it the way you do." I bit my bottom lip to stop myself from sobbing loud. Tama na self, maawa ka naman sa sarili mo.

"If you put malice on my treatments towards you then it's your fault, not mine."

Kasalanan ko pa palang mag-assume kung siya naman itong nagbigay ng motibo, kasalanan ko bang iba ang pakikitungo niya sa akin kaysa sa ibang tao? Siya itong gumulo sa tahimik kong buhay, siya itong umaakto na pagmamay-ari niya ako. So, all this time wala lang pala sa kanya ang mga iyon? Ang tanga ko pala para maniwala sa lahat ng iyon.