Secrets 3

Chapter 11

Louis' POV 

I'm kind of worried about tonight. I don't know how my mum or Dan are going to react about this. I don't really care though. If they don't like it they don't have to come around. I mean this isn't anything like I've done in the past. This is actually a good thing. Allison is my life now. She means everything to me. I've proved that before. I'm not going to take back anything that we've done. Everyone is just going to have to get used to the fact that we're married now. There's nothing anyone can do about it. They should all be happy that we're both happy. I've never been this happy. She's done that to me. I was always upset before her. I met her and everything changed. I wanted to be better than I was before. Better than the person I was trying to be after I left the group. She deserves that. I know she doesn't want me to change though. She's told me that multiple times. I'm changing for myself and for her. I want to be the person she deserves because I'm way to selfish to give her up. I need her. I need her way more than I've ever needed anyone before. I can't be without her. I know she can't be without me. We've both proved that before. It's hard enough going a few hours without being around her. I can't imagine being away for any longer than a day anymore. 

That's different from my past. Before I could be away from anyone for weeks, months, maybe even years and not care. That's just how I was then. I couldn't help it. I only worried about myself. Now I hardly care about myself. I worry about her. She's all I worry about anymore. 

We've been laying around since she got back. My arms wrapped around her with her face hid in the crook of my neck. I lover laying here with her like this. I don't want to be anywhere else. I know we should probably be getting up soon. I'm nervous about telling my mum. I don't want her to be upset with me but I have a feeling that's going to happen anyway. I mean at least she's going to be hearing it from me. 

I left a soft kiss on her head when I felt her start to move. She looked up at me and smiled. God I love her smile. It makes her even more beautiful if that's even possible. It makes things better knowing I'm the reason behind it. I always want to be. I should be the one making her smile not making her cry. I know that's how it was at one point. I couldn't control those things though. It drove me crazy that I couldn't. I hated making her upset. I never want to do that. 

I moved my hand up and cupped her cheek in it. I started caressing her cheek with my thumb. I just looked at her. I love just looking at her. She's so beautiful. Just seeing her like this with me makes me happier that she's mine. I know she had choices. She could have found someone better. Someone who doesn't have a past like mine. Someone who knew what it was like to actually be in a real relationship. She didn't care about any of that. She just wanted me. 

I don't know how long I just looked at her. She didn't seem to mind. I lent down, lightly pressing my lips against her's. They were so gentle against mine like they always are. I can't imagine them being any other way. I felt her move her hand on top of mine. I love this girl so damn much. She's going to be the only person I love. I can't imagine being with anyone else the way I am with her. If something were to happen to us, I wouldn't be able to take it. I wouldn't be myself. I couldn't be the way I am now. I would probably try to hook up with random girls to get rid of the pain. I know it wouldn't though. I don't want to think about this right now. I have no reason to. Things are good between. They seem better than they were before. Especially since the wedding. I just hope they stay this way. I have a feeling that they will be. 

I ran my tongue over her bottom lip. She let me have entrance like she usually does. I know we shouldn't be like this. I know I should stop before I'm tempted to just stay here with her the rest of the night. She won't let us though. She pulled away sooner than I wanted her to. She kept our head touching and smiled, "I love you."