HonkaiVerse: A new era

Relief

Weeks went by, and Mei was still unresponsive. Kiana was stricken with grief ever since then. She visited Mei on the daily, even switching her IV tubes and making sure she didn't develop ulcers from lying on the bed too long.

She used to cry every day, no longer sleeping on Mei's side of the bed out of pure anxiety. She refused to let herself feel anything had to focus on the task at hand. She had to focus on Mei's betterment. Seele and Bryona visited Kiana every day but only got the same response" I'm fine. I need to take care of her." Kiana was unrelenting, in pain, and in utter misery She had done this, she had put Mei in critical condition, she had a fucking temper tantrum and nearly killed her own lover.

Some nights she yielded herself from breaking down, she hated feeling guilty, she hated how far she went just because she couldn't get her way. So for the first time in her long life, she looked to Sirin for the answers to the feelings she kept buried so deep. Would she be scared of me? Would she still love me? Will she even be alive for me to see her the next day? She questioned as her intrusive thoughts entered her mind and swirled around like a whirlpool.

Getting up everyday was a chore, looking at Mei's unconscious body and knowing it was her fault killed her. The pain she bottled up from everyone felt even worse than when the honkai was corrupting her in Nagazora, worse than the beating she got by Mei to slap some sense into her that day, worse than the crushing pain of the puppets she had to fight to save bryona and fu hua, worse than the pain of loosing a mentor and beloved teacher.

She couldnt feel anything, she couldn't risk Sirin using this to take over again, she couldnt cause another Eruption. She was already recieving specialized training from the now overseer of schickzal Theresa. Since the incident Kiana no longer uses that training to better control herself, she uses it as an outlet for the feelings bottled up in a sealed container, basking in the breeze that passed her by everytime she took a shot at the simulated honkai beast.

In these fits of anger, she would sometimes be stopped by Theresa and given a lecture on how the training module was not to be used for stress relief. Theresa told her that she understood how she was feeling and she could come talk to her anytime, but that only made Kiana angrier, it was what everyone was telling her and hearing the same thing over and over began to annoy her.

So Kiana scratched the idea of using the training module as stress relief and went to a boxing gym one day, she bumped into Seele and Veliona they were caked in sweat and each of them had their hair in a ponytail taking swings at one another. Veliona looked like she was under a great deal of stress herself, and that was rich coming from the one who drugged her ex.

Kiana watched in silence as Seele tried in a vain attempt to dodge Velionas attacks. Each time Seele got knocked down, she repeated, "Again!" And her moves became more calculated and thought out. She got Veliona's attention off her for that one devastatingly short moment, and in that moment she struck Veliona off her balance.

Seele jumped in excitement and held her fist on the air. " i did it. i finally did it! I'm getting stronger!" She giggled, and bryona got out of her seat to congratulate her, pecking her on the nose. Seele helped Veliona up, who was clutching her head in annoyance. "Good job, i need 5" Veliona spoke coldly, kneeling under the rope and headed towards Kiana.

"Come with me," Veliona whispered proceeded to grab Kiana by the arm and take her to one of the back resting rooms as bryona looked on while Seele was bouncing around in excitement, too happy to notice Kiana at all. Once there, Veliona tossed her a drink out the fridge, Kiana had stopped drinking when Kirye came into her life and still didnt to honor her memory, but she heavily considered it seeing her recent prediciment was pushing her to her limits.

"What? Dont drink? There's milk in here if you want " Kiana betrayed Kirye in every way, but she wanted to at least keep her dignity alive with this small gesture"nah i dont drink, got a cigarette though?" Kiana asked bluntly."Always these days, " Veliona said, beginning to pull the pack out her pocket and walk towards kiana. She handed the cigarette to Kiana and watched as she inspected it. "Is this weed?" Kiana asked, pupils dialating as her heart skipped a beat."Yeah, the hard stuff though i ain't no punk." Veliona smirked and handed the lighter to Kiana

"What? Only tried the regular stuff?" Kiana nodded, and Veliona leaned down and lit it for her." dont inhale too much at one time. Take it slowly. " Kiana followed her instructions and immediately started coughing, Veliona laughed and patted her back while pulling up a chair next to her. Kiana felt she slow rush after a few minutes"woah, i feel..a lot more relaxed" Veliona smirked taking one out the pack"yeah they work like magic when you're stressed, figured you of all people needed em' right now "

Veliona lit up a cigarette and leaned back in her chair. " You know?" Veliona chuckled a bit and took a puff of the cigarette" every one does, people worried about their precious captin lockin' herself in the med bay all the time" Veliona looked at Kiana and the expression she had was a dull one, kiana herself wanted to get high enough to be unable to feel the pain she put every one through" Veliona placed a hand on her shoulder" dont worry i got you, you just owe me one after this"

Kiana laughed. "Owe you? Just like Kiyre yeah no" This time, Kiana took an even bigger puff, the weed clouding her judgment, and yet you still haven't stormed out at the sight of me, why?" Veliona questioned.

" Maybe the weed, maybe the sleepless nights. I really never loved Kirye, but the pain of not being able to explain myself and letting her die such a horrible death kills me. These hands are stained with her blood, i refrain from touching that gun i shot her with that day. She was an amazing girlfriend, but she hated how distant i was, and eventually, she ended up fueling her curiosity that day, and it cost her life" Kiana paused to take another puff, using it as an outlet to stifle any emotioned that dared to bubble to the surface.

"You're twisted, cruel, and bat shit insane but you got your own story and being angry all my life does no one any good. I refused to tell the truth and look where it got me, i tried making it up with Mei, but i just ended up hurting her, too. This pain is unrelenting, and maybe i deserve it, but nobody else around me does." Kiana finished her drink and put out her cigarette in the ashtray."Damn, that's a lot to unpack, i brought you in here for a break. Saw you watching, and you looked shaky, im a good person. I really just can't help how i was made. " Veliona leaned her head back, smiling.

She was truly a sick individual but a good talker, Veliona put the cigarette in her mouth and reached for something in her left pocket. "heres my number if you ever need anything. Oh, and i got an extra pack if you ever need to take the edge off" Veliona placed the pack on the table and walked towards the door"hey uh, thanks for this i really needed it today" Kiana said akwardly, Veliona looked back and smiled as she flashed a peace sign and walked out leaving Kiana to stare at the pack on the table with a smiley face and a note

'Things ain't all bad, come see me if you want help :)'

Kiana smiled, grabbed the pack, and walked towards shickzal HQ