Okay there's too much serious not enough funny going on so I'll try to bring back the silly for a bit :3
Happy reading!
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It's been a week since what's been dubbed The Incident, which earned Blaise a month of detention. Malfoy only got a week, which is totally unfair, considering the blond caused the whole mess in the first place.
But apparently a magic outburst that destroyed every light fixture in the dungeons isn't the fault of the person who provoked him in the first place.
The only saving grace of this whole ordeal is that he's left alone during detention, meaning Blaise can listen to music while he's stuck scrubbing cauldrons. And that's exactly what he's doing.
When he's finally dismissed, Blaise finds Harry waiting outside the classroom with a manic grin and the promise of something exciting if he chooses to join him. The Slytherin agrees, if only to avoid dealing with Malfoy for a little while longer.
Being led up to the Room isn't that unusual, since Harry's been using the space frequently to escape Umbridge's wrath, but what is is the spell that whizzes past Blaise's face when he opens the door.
Along with the two-dozen or so students that turn and stare at him in shock.
With a code switch of unimaginable proportions, Harry rushes to placate everyone - with an absurdly normal level of conduct - before anything untoward happens. Or almost everyone, because Zacharias Smith always manages to kick up a fuss about everything.
"Oi Potter, get that snake out of here! We don't need him ratting us out to Umbridge!"
"Quit throwing a tanty, Smith." Harry says insultingly. "He's a friend, and I know he'll keep his mouth shut."
Several people raise an eyebrow at the idea of the Boy-Who-Lived being friends with a Slytherin, but ultimately concede when he shows no sign of backing down.
There's only one missing piece of the metaphorical puzzle.
"So," Blaise starts, "what exactly am I keeping quiet about?"
"So you exposed us to a Slytherin without even explaining anything!? What the bloody hell is wrong with you!" And there goes Smith again. Jesus fucking Christ. Blaise has half a mind to hex that idiot.
Meanwhile, Harry doesn't pay any mind except to dismiss everyone and turns to face him. "This is Dumbledore's Army, the D.A. for short. Basically an anti-Umbridge DADA study group where we actually practice casting the spells we learn."
As Harry stares expectantly at him, the little chaos demon that lives in Blaise's head tells him it'd be funny to make his friend's facade of normalcy crack in front of the supposed "D.A."
"And what do I get for keeping this secret of yours?" Harry's eye twitches.
"Are you bonkers? You're taking the piss, aren't you?" Said teen hisses as the few remaining students grumble about 'fucking Slytherins'. "You don't get squat, you shit-stirring prick."
"Maybe I should go have a chat with a certain pink toad then."
Blaise smirks victoriously when Harry catches his wrist in a bruising grip. It grows wider when he sees the manic glint return to his friend's eyes, and then he gets decked in the face.
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"Blaise, are you mad?" Harry asks later while tuning his guitar. The pair decided to have an impromptu jam sesh now that they have the Room to themselves.
"Maybe, but so are you." The Slytherin replies, still nursing his bloody nose. "You're probably just rubbing off on me, aye?"
That earns him a crazed grin from Harry. "Nah mate, that kinda crazy is something you're born with. Sucks to be you, I guess!"
Blaise puts on a mock scandalized expression, which causes Harry to break down into hysterical laughter and collapse into a heap on the floor.
"How dare you call me crazy, Mister Doesn't-Sleep-Fucking-Ever, Guzzles-Monster-Like-Water, Starts-Fights-With-Malfoy-On-The-Daily! Pot and kettle, you fool!"
"Oh Merlin, I can't fucking breathe!" The aptly-described teen wheezes between laughs. He's been reduced to only being able to giggle and smack the floor like an idiot. The pitiable state of his friend sends Blaise into a fit of laughter as well.
After the pair finally calm down, Harry resumes tuning his guitar that somehow ended up face down on the floor - much like its owner just moments earlier.
Blaise is given the dubious honor of curating the night's playlist, and so he scrolls through what's basically the music equivalent of the Library of Alexandria, attempting to choose songs that work well together.
That's kinda difficult though, when the music taste of your friend ranges from death metal to Japanese noise pop and it's nearly impossible to differentiate just by the song titles.
Like seriously, what genre would a band literally called "........." even be???
Oh, well. Harry can blame himself if my picks are rubbish, Blaise thinks, and just chucks a bunch of random songs into a playlist.
The selection is apparently funny enough to send his friend into another bout of hysterical laughter when he sees it. Who knew that putting AngelMaker and Twenty One Pilots in the same playlist is basically an act of sacrilege?
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Blaise's frankly horrific playlist has set in Harry's mind that his friend needs to listen to more music. So despite being literally the worst thing ever, said playlist gets set to shuffle so he can understand.
And by God does he. By the end, Harry's almost certain that the Slytherin's brain has short-circuited from the constant changes in genre. It's pretty funny watching him try to comprehend what happened over the last two hours.
The first words out of Blaise's mouth once he collects himself are, "Truly the playlist ever. What the fuck. That was so shit."
"This wouldn't have happened if you listened to bands other than Deftones, you donkey." Harry quips. He gets up to put away his guitar and is promptly hit with a stinging hex.
"Oi! Piss off!" Blaise just laughs.
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I know I said that last chapter kicked my ass but damn
Almost a month for 1,000 words is fucked ngl but also I've been pretty busy so idk
Anyway I hope this made you laugh 🥺👍 have a nice day pookies
YOU ARE READING
That One Where Harry Potter is Addicted to Monster and Plays Electric Guitar
Fanfiction^^^ Title (REWRITE OF OLD STORY -> READ A/N) Was supposed to be crack but evolved into something resembling a plot with a potential endgame ship so 👀 -------- I thought of this and it won't go away. figured I might as well just write it and see wha...
