conviction

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maybe you are just like me,
going up in carefully calculated
flames that overtake you
minute by passing minute.

the truth is? i don't know what
you think about me, and i can't
pretend that i ever did know.
i can only know how i truly feel
about myself, and about you,
and about the rest of the world.

and when i try to explain that
to others, even that doesn't 
come together and out the
way i've been experiencing it.

i'm still not sure how i feel 
about the things you gave me,
that i held onto with deep
conviction, all the while you
stayed far away from me with
no interest. but the moment i
decide to reclaim myself and 
let it go, you came back into
view and claimed you wanted
refuge in my life.

but you left and you lived,
all the while i was daydreaming
as i danced in wild, unstructured
circles on my bedroom floor--alone.

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