Fade Into You

Salt

"I hate to admit it, but I think you're in the wrong here," Scarlet sighed, handing me a pesto and cheese toastie.

"Am I?" I asked, "I mean, I feel kind of shitty now but she's the one who said to her ex that she misses him."

"And then you looked through her phone," she replied.

I hummed and nodded, looking at my cheesy bread and picking it apart, "I trust her, I do."

"Who are you trying to convince?" she smirked slightly.

I thought for a second and bit into my toastie, "me I think," I decided, chewing my food.

"Why wouldn't you trust her? She's been a bit of a dickhead in the past but since you guys have gotten together, she's been amazing ... you took her home, so clearly you love her, but I don't know why you don't trust her," her brows furrowed.

"Our relationship is the product of cheating," I reminded her.

"I remember," she nodded, "but she's done so much to prove her love to you since then. I can see how much she loves you; it's sickening sometimes but there's so much love there ... it's natural that she misses her ex because she was with him for six years of her life. The better part of her adolescence was being her boyfriend, there would've been a lot of really great memories made and you can't hold that against her."

"Yeah but ... I- she um ... I think I've fucked up."

"Me too," she smiled sadly, "you need to apologise for snooping through her phone, accusing her of not being trustworthy and just tell her how much she means to you. It's your first argument, you're not going to break up, but I think you do need some time apart so don't talk to her now - let her calm down and think about everything and then talk to her tomorrow or the day after."

"Should I message and apologise?" I asked.

She shook her head quickly as she chewed her own sandwich, "definitely don't apologise over text," she exclaimed with her mouth full.

"Can I tell her that I love her over text?" I checked.

"Yeah, you can tell her you love her but don't say you're sorry, this needs to be done in person because you need to talk about everything fully," she continued.

"Look at you, giving good relationship advice," I smirked.

She laughed out her nose and shook her head, "it's funny what a healthy relationship does to a person."

"I still can't believe you're in a relationship with a woman," I smiled, "have you said the four-letter word yet?"

"No," she mumbled, biting into her sandwich, "I've been close but ... no."

"Has she said it?" I asked.

Scarlet nodded slowly and looked down, "yeah, she's said it a few times actually but I um- I couldn't say it back."

"What? But you told me you loved her?"

"I do love her," she sighed, looking back up at me, "I think I do ... I don't know, I just- every time she says it, I freeze, and I can't say it back, I don't know what happens."