Behind Closed Doors

Chapter 8

As I sat in the car with my music blasting so I could avoid any outside noise, I stated out the window, thinking about what Koda has to desperately tell me. A million thoughts ran through my head. Could it be that he likes me more than just friends? Could it be he found out that he really is the father of Dani's child?

"Ugh stop it Kanji!" I thought to myself! "You're only making it worse to yourself!"

I seriously had to start listening to myself. Especially about these kinds of things. The more I thought about all the negative things, the more I kept picking at my wrist. As strange as it may sound, it felt normal picking at my wrist. It felt like nothing, so I continued to do this though out this road trip.

Everyone in the car was practically asleep. Except for my dad, since after all, he's driver. He has no choice but to stay awake. I was the only one who had managed to stay awake. It had only been about fifteen minutes on the raid, and everyone was already dead.

"Kanji, why do you look so sad?" My dad asked, looking through the front mirror.

Was it really that obvious that I was sad? Or at least, curious?

"I'm not sad daddy. I'm just really deep in thought, and a lot of my thoughts are negative I guess."

He kept looking at me, studying my face, as if to determine if I was lying or not. Which I really wasn't.

"Alright sweety. Just try to go sleep if you can. We have six hours until we get to the hotel. It'll give you enough time to relax and clear your mind" He smiled.

"You're right. I just have to calm down and forget about things." I paused. "Maybe some music will help me!"

With that I grabbed my phone from my pocket and began playing my favorite song, "Little Things." That songs just calms me down and soothes me. I loved what the lyrics say. I started singing a long and about half way through the song I dozed off.

I had the weirdest dream ever. It felt so real, almost as if it had actually happen.

In my dream, I had finally reached the hotel. My parents had trust me that I could sleep in a hotel room a lone, so I stayed in the room right next to them and my grandmother. My brother was in the room across from me.

I quickly grabbed my phone and called Koda. He answered after the first ring.

"Hey Kanji!" His voice sounded so happy, yet a bit sad at the same time.

"Hey Koda! So what is it that you've been dying to tell me?" I asked very eagerly.

"Well what I wanted to say was," he paused for a moment, cleared his throat and said "I wanted to say that, we can't be friends. Dani just doesn't like you at all."

My heart sank. I couldn't believe what he was telling me.

"What?!" I said, trying to hold back tears. But I knew he wasn't finished.

"She gave me an ultimatum. It was either her with the baby, or you. I chose her because I love her too much to let her go." Again he paused and cleared his throat. "Don't get me wrong here, I love you too and all but, Dani is my fiancée now. I proposed to her last night after we left your house."

He had literally just ripped my heart out and shot it with a rifle. After all we have been through together, he was willing to throw it all away, for the bitch. We were in 10th grade for chrissake! How could he possibly be engaged to her? It would never work out!

"I see, well you had to do what you had to do right?" At that moment, I started bursting out into tears. But I cried silently, so he wouldn't hear me.