Behind Closed Doors

Chapter 10

I heard a knocking at the door, which was the cause of my awakening.

I dragged myself out of the hotel bed and lazily opened the door. My vision was blurry becuase I had not yet put on my glasses, but I could tell by the tall and musculant figure that it was my father making sure that I woke up on time.

"Kanji, you have one hour to get ready so please hurry up so you will have some time to eat breakfast."

He sounded too happy, which for some reason, really pissed me the fuck off. As almost everyone knows, I am most definitely not a morning person and absolutley hate when people are too happy and nice to me.

"Yeah, okay, whatever." I managaed to get out.

I closed the door and walked to bathroom, or at least attempted to. I barely could get my eyes opened, so I ended up tripping multiple times on my way to the bathroom.

"God dammit!" I yelled.

I had finally made it to the bathroom and just stood there, staring at myself in the mirror. I was so disgusted by my reflection.

"Fuck I'm so God damn fat and ugly! I hate myself!"

I started thingking about Koda, and how he would never even consider giving me a chance, since I'm so fucking ratchet.

I took and a deep breathe.

"Kanji," I said to myself "stop doing that yourself, you're only making it worse."

I finally looked awat from the mirror and began to undress. I turned on the shower, waited for it to heat up a bit and then stepped in.

I did my usual shower routine; shampoo, soap, face wash, conditioner, and shave (if necessary). But annoyingly my routine was cut short becuase my water just stopped all by itself. I tried turning the shower handle but it didn't work. Looks like no shaving for me today, not that I really need to anyways. I can always shave when I shower tomorrow morning.

I grabbed the towel that was sitting on the toilet seat and wrapped it around myself. I tried really hard not to look at myself too much in the mirror, since I would end up critizing and bringing myself down even more. Anytime I did end up looking in the mirror, I would focus mainly on my hair and face, because I founf it to be the least repulsive thing about myself.

I removed the towel from my body and used it to wrap up my wet hair. I was too lazy to brush it out, so i just quickly ran my fingers through my hair, leaving it only half knotty.

I wasn't worried about being caught in the room naked, so I casually walked out of the bathroom, towards the bed where luggage was sitting on.

While searching for something decent to wear, I found a picture of my from the 7th grade.

"Holy shit!" I was so shocked. "What the hell is this doing in there?!"

I kept staring at myself, critizing every little thing about myself. I was going on and on until i noticed something about the picture. . .

I looked. . . really. . . happy.

Why am I smiling so big? I thought to myself.

I searched throughout the whole picture, looking for some answers, when I noticed that I was all dressed up. Then it suddenly hit me like a bullet.

It was the day of the 7th grade award ceremony, nearly three years ago. I was sitting with Koda and Britney. We were all waiting for our names to be called out for anything that we have been nominated for. Britney won best smile and most outgoing and Koda won best golfer, funniest friend, and best hair.