Anvaila Emerson, a vibrant party lover, juggles her crush on Kevin Diaz, the basketball team captain, and the return of mysterious Austin Smith to senior year. Caught in a high school drama, Anvaila faces the complexities of emotions, friendships, a...
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I woke up this morning and for a moment, just a split second, I forgot everything—about Kevin, about how broken I’ve felt. It was like I was suspended in that limbo between sleep and reality, where nothing hurts. But then it all came crashing back. The confusion, the mess of it all, settling in my chest like a weight I can’t shake.
Last night with my friends, I could pretend. I could laugh and act like everything was fine. Like I was fine. And for a while, maybe I even believed it. But now? Now I have to face Kevin. The guy who’s managed to turn everything inside me upside down. How did we get here? One day it was harmless smiles and stolen glances, and now… now I can’t look at him without feeling shattered.
It’s stupid, really—how much power I’ve let him have. How much space he takes up in my head. I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t ask to care about someone who doesn’t know what he wants or how to treat me. Or maybe that’s the worst part—maybe he does know, and that’s why it hurts.
But I can’t keep doing this. I can’t let him control my day, my emotions. I can’t let him see how much he’s broken me, even though every part of me is screaming that I’m not okay.
And yet, here I am. About to face him again. What do I do? Pretend I don’t care? Act like his words don’t sting? Like every glance isn’t another thousand unanswered questions?
I don’t know if I’m strong enough. But maybe… maybe I don’t have to be. Maybe I just need to get through today. One step at a time. One breath at a time. Maybe tomorrow will hurt a little less.
I smoothed out my uniform, staring at my reflection. My eyes were still puffy, last night’s tears clinging stubbornly to my face. I whispered, “You’ve got this,” but the words felt hollow. Still, I forced myself out the door.
The walk to school felt longer than usual, like the weight of everything with Kevin had settled into my bones. And, of course, the universe decided to test me the moment I walked in. There he was—Kevin—leaning against the lockers, laughing with his friends like nothing had ever bothered him. Like everything was just normal.
