Rachel's comments from Tuesday have been on my mind all week. She thinks I should be weirded out by Cameron moving on from me. I get it-he was my first love-but honestly, what's the big deal? People change, and so do their feelings. It's not like I just woke up one morning and thought, "Oh, I don't love him anymore."
No, it wasn't some dramatic, sudden decision. We drifted apart over time. There was no earth-shattering moment when everything ended; it was slow, gradual, almost inevitable. The spark we once had, that electric feeling whenever he touched me, just... disappeared. The magic of love-the thing that had held us together-started to fade. And that's completely normal. Everyone's making a big deal out of this, but seriously, they need to chill.
Sure, a part of me will probably always care about him. He was my first, after all. You don't just forget that. But the intensity of my feelings has changed. It's softer now, less consuming. When I told Cam this a few years ago, he understood. It wasn't easy for him to hear, and it wasn't easy for me to say, but we both knew deep down that it was true. We weren't the same people we were when we first got together, and that's okay.
It was hard for both of us to let go of what we had. There were moments when I second-guessed everything, wondering if maybe we could make it work, but deep down, I knew better. Even when we were together, a small part of me had this nagging feeling that he wasn't my endgame. I tried to push those thoughts aside, focusing instead on the present, on the happiness we shared in the moment. And don't get me wrong, we were happy. But happiness in the moment doesn't always mean forever.
Our separation was necessary. We'd reached a point where staying together would've only held us back. So when I see Cam now, with Celestie by his side, I don't feel weird at all. In fact, I feel relieved. Happy, even. They seem good together. They are good together. It's the kind of relationship Cam deserves-the kind of love that has a real shot at lasting. And he deserves that. He deserves something more than what we had, more than a relationship that was never going to last forever.
So, no, I'm not weirded out by seeing them together. If anything, I'm at peace with it. I know what we had was special in its own way, but I also know it ran its course. Cam and I needed to move on, and he's found someone who makes him happy in a way I couldn't. That's something to celebrate, not feel awkward about.
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Emotional Butterfly
Genç KurguAnvaila Emerson, a vibrant party lover, juggles her crush on Kevin Diaz, the basketball team captain, and the return of mysterious Austin Smith to senior year. Caught in a high school drama, Anvaila faces the complexities of emotions, friendships, a...