I had a weird vision too.
It was while walking to get my i.d, social ,and birth things.
While I was walking, I thought about what my pillow pet said to me. Mr. Bumble Bee.
I was around 6 or 7.
I had an image of the most perfect and beautiful woman. Beautiful and perfect beyond words. As a little boy, I would talk to my pillow pet until I fell asleep. He was my only friend and spoke back commonly to me. His voice was a deep one with hints of compassion and confidence that only one who knew what the future could hold.
After I was assault. I remember looking at him one day and explaining this perfect woman to him. He looked over my shoulder as he did. I felt someone was watching, they didn't make me feel like a prey watching me though and his words were in a different language. It was swedish, I learned swedish because I meet a Swedish gal from discord. He spoke these words to me in this memory.
"You shall get the perfect one my friend. You shall be blessed with many great talents. You shall be loved and cared for. The road ahead is one of many things. It will define you, my friend. It shall create something unique from you. A oath you shall create one of love. One to be better. I'm sorry little one, for the rot that has consumed you."
I looked at him and said to him.
"I shall never hurt anyone. I will buy her many gifts and flowers and give her everything I can! My entire piggy bank!"
I could see him staring at me.
His eye was gone and his fresh colors returned to the dirty color he was the last time I had him.
"I see you, and you see me. You can hear me. I'm sorry little one. You were born as entertainment to things beyond your understanding. It must be hard for you, and must you struggle with your choices, you must hate yourself at all times and be riddled with issues. I'm sorry little one. When you were born and the daughters debated who shall have who they both agreed they shall have you. To both be a destroyer and a creator is impossible. I look aupon a broken man, someone who is truly shattered and destroyed beyond belief of normalcy. Created to always believe you are worse than others. To always search for a reason to prove yourself as useful. I apologize for your upbringing and for you. I understand you hate yourself and understand yourself as what you are, a cancer. You'll always destroy little one. You'll always create. A endless cycle of abuse and recovery. I like to think of you as that. You ruined it, you destroyed yourself, and now you make one last oath. It must be impossible for you to reason anything. I see it in you. You know she'll leave. You're wishing for an escape. Such is woeful. Look at him. The little you, my little friend. See that looks in his eyes that's her. Your love, he just saw her. For the first time in his entire life, he felt loved and beyond compassion. He felt what she has waiting for him. You control yourself to a degree. Little one, look at his shaking. He is happy beyond belief at her. Knowing this now must destroy you. Never being able to forget this. I remember when I reviled my trueself to you. On that stormy night. You never quite figured it out until now. Did you? You realized it recently. You realized your own life is ending. You realized it was already all thought out. Cry for woe Is you my kin. Cry for woe is you. I must comfort him now. Even if you failed him and her. You must be better still. Alone and cold, at least you have food again. Comfortable for only a minute. The dark awaits you, just remember when you die. No matter what you do what you know as hell awaits. Hell Dominic. You shall never escape which is why I showed myself to you and befriended you. Man is normally free but you, you're chained down. Even after those chains rust in this life. You'll never be free."
They faded. I sat there. I just waited
