My Only Medicine // Johnnie Guilbert

8 // :3

Sorry for not being a stable updater, I hate life sometimes. LOL
Mentions of ED and SA

I sighed and stepped away from the droning of the rain padding on the open window. As I turned around, I saw a figure's mere silhouette almost right in front of me, due to my window being near my door. I gasped slightly then smiled, realizing it was only Johnnie

"Oh- sorry. Did I scare you?" He smiled sweetly and extended his hand.

"Yes, you did." Knowing it wasn't Jordyn, I chuckled and sighed. I'm pretty sure he passed away due to how badly he was beaten. Considering how distant and abandoned the place is, I doubt anyone discovered him. Yet... I shuddered thinking about the overbearing thought that hovered over me. I followed him out of the room. Everything was prepped for our chill movie night with each other, except it was too cold to sit comfortably, so before I sat down I grabbed a blanket and laid it upon Johnnie and me on the couch. After we both sat down, I decided to ask him a question that had been lingering in my thoughts since he told me what he did.

"Hey, uh.. what do you think happened to.. him?" I said to him in a lower voice to hint at who I was talking about.

"Well.. before we drove to the hospital, I dragged his body into the brush. I don't even know if he's even alive though."

"What if. What if someone finds him?"

"They won't, I promise you."

I breathed out, slightly relieved at his reassuring words. Knowing he could be entirely wrong and that he was just trying to make me feel better was a thought I had for a split second before pushing it out completely. I lifted my hand with the controller and hit 'play' on our movie. I was awake for the most part until I just passed out on Johnnie's shoulder, I'm sure he didn't mind though.

Johnnie's POV!

I enjoyed the movie that Lily chose, it was a romantic movie, but not a happy ending.. weird. We were at the planetarium part when I felt a soft thud on my shoulder, I didn't have to look down to know it was Lily but I did anyway so I could see her for the sake of it. She looked thinner; Her cheeks looked more defined and she was more pale than I remembered she had been in the past. Then I started to connect the dots. She ate no popcorn, she's skinnier even though she's been in bed for the past 2 weeks, and all her food is expired. I looked up in disbelief.

She's starving herself.

I can't believe she hasn't told me. I looked at her and frowned. I obviously can't wake her up and scare her that I know what she had been to herself, I'd wait until she was fully awake and responsive, but now? I'd enjoy her presence. I was so grateful that she trusted me enough to sleep on me, even after all that had happened. I understand not feeling like yourself for a couple of days after something like that occurs; not eating, not leaving bed.. but for weeks on end? It's not normal. Maybe I shouldn't confront her just yet, maybe I should wait until she feels comfortable or stops. But if it goes on for too long then I'll have to do something. Right? I told myself. That it's going to be temporary, and wouldn't last, but did I know that? No. I've only known her for a month, I don't know if she's had a past with destructive tendencies, but we'll have to see. I sighed thinking about the harmful topic and decided it'd be best to leave it, for now. I got kind of bored with the movie so I just decided to scroll on my phone until the movie ended. What would I do then? Just let her sleep on my shoulder until morning? I hope she wakes up. I don't want to make her feel like I didn't enjoy her resting on me, but I also don't want to make her uncomfortable.

Finally, the movie ended. It felt like two hours, but I couldn't tell you. I readjusted my position, specifically my shoulder area so that she'd wake up. As soon as I did, she groaned softly and adjusted herself to me. I guess I'm sleeping like this. I sighed.

Morning

I woke up in a confused state. Where am I? It did not feel like my bed. I opened my eyes finally and looked around, things still didn't make sense, but one thing I could make sense of is that I fell asleep on Johnnie. I sighed out loud, clearly embarrassed. I pushed myself off of him, grabbing his attention from his phone.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to pass out on you like that." I smiled, speaking softly. I was still groggy.

"No, no. It's fine. Don't worry about it." He smiled back at me, putting his phone down. "So, how are you? I'm sorry I didn't ask you yesterday."

"Oh, well. Uh- yeah, I'm doin' good." I lied. I felt so bad, but I couldn't tell him. He'd probably get mad at me.

"Are you sure.?" He replied, skeptical.

"Yeah.. why?" I hate lying to people I care about.

"Just making sure." He fidgeted with his hands, looking at them. Sighing, he continued. He made eye contact as he looked up at me. "I just wanted you to know that you can always talk to me, about anything. Okay?"

I wasn't prepared for the sudden eye contact, so I looked away a couple of times, a bit uncomfortable with the intimate situation. "Yeah- yeah.. okay." I paused. "Anything?"

"Anything." He smiled again.

'Wow, he has an attractive smile.' I thought. "Okay.. thank you, Johnnie. Really."

Johnnie (surprise!!!!!)

"Always, Lily." I paused, thinking if I should confront her. I decided it'd be best if I just got it over with and not let it worsen and it be my fault. "I'm a bit worried about you."

"Huh? Why?" She looked at me, confused.

"Because.. 'cause, when I saw your pantry.. everything was expired."

"oh.." She went even paler than she already was. "I'm sorry, Johnnie."

"No. Do not apologize, okay? We can get through this. I promise." I said sincerely.

"I don't know. I'm so embarrassed." She quietly responded, her hands rubbing her face.

"Look, Lily. I've gone through a similar thing too, okay? I know what it's like to suffer." I reassured her, reaching up to pull her hands away.

"I just- I don't feel like talking about it.. but- I swear I'll eat, soon."

"You promise?" I handed out my pinky finger to her.

She smiled at the small gesture and interlocked her finger with mine.

"Sure, promise." She quietly laughed.

"You want to go out somewhere? Like a small cafe, or.."

"I don't know, Johnnie. This is all so sudden.."

"You want to get better? Or not." I smiled.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." She rolled her eyes. I honestly wonder what could've happened if I hadn't said anything. As I pulled her up, she followed behind me. For the many months I had been taking the Uber, it had cost me over 1,000$. That's a lot. I decided to take things into my own hands and learn how to drive. Then, I bought my car, instead of Jake, or a stranger, having to drive me everywhere.

(something actual Johnnie wouldn't do, but for the sake of the plot...)

(guys should I add an extra chapter of Johnnie raving to Jake about how much Johnnie likes her ((PLATONICALLY)) *so far*, and how worried he was about her after Jordan or whatever his name was? LOL. should I?)