Enhypen BxB Oneshots

EXPLAINATION

Hello this is an explaination for the previous oneshot i made,

Since i know that some were probably confused on what was happening and how it was about me.

So im going to keep it really short and straight to the point.

Sunoo reperesents how i really feel

a.k.a my 'vunerable side' & 'sufferings'

&

Sunghoon represents how i act or conceal myself

a.k.a my 'wannabe tough persona' & 'trauma responses'

It starts out with describing them both as a parasitic relationship,

Sunoo being sensitive with everything, and Sunghoon finds its completely annoying.

Which is just like me, Inside I'm truly insecure abt everything but I get annoyed at myself for being that way.

So I just start degrading myself and making myself feel worse, which is what Sunghoon is seen doing to Sunoo whenever the younger shows his weakness.

Then moving on to Sunoo's habit of counting calories, and of course is obvious that he has an eating disorder like me lmao.

Long sotry short, I am calorie concious and monitoring my calorie/food intake which is effective but im not sure if its having good effects to my body.

I also get guilty just by the thought of eating past fullness or too much, and also looked at as disrespectful for not finishing a meal. Which represents my overthinking nature, and anxiety.

Which is seen when Sunoo was at the cafeteria, shaking at the sight of the food, and when he was puking out his food in the second scene.

And I think if you read properly you would be able to know his rants and vents cuz im not explaining, and those vents are actually mine, from my own fingers and heart lmao.

Which included Sunoo's mention of his dysfunctional family and the negative effect they had on him, and Sunghoon's experiences of neglect and emotional disregard that causes him to feel enraged over basic human feelings.

I really tried to put my soft side into this oneshot and treat it as where i can dump my own feelings and sufferings.

So moving onto Sunghoon.

As said in the story, Sunghoon is emotionally absent.

He cringes out when he sees any act of love or other actions relating to it.

Which is similar to me, but only in certain situations or contexts.

My parents both neglected my emotional needs and I had to fix my own problems by myself with no help because I was raised with ridicule over my emotions making me incapable of taking in and expressing certain positive emotions.

Being emotionally absent is hard because when someone shows you that they care for you you are automatically suspicious and at the same time has a hard time accepting anything. So instead you just use your knowledge of being a cunt to everyone because thats what your parents do instead of taking care of you as a kid.

Aside from that I did not mention Sunghoon had a dysfunctional family that makes him unable to be his own self with his family, unless he's with people that understands him.

So after that, we will talk about why are they parasitic?

Its because they = my emotions/mindset, are different from one another.

For example, whenever Sunoo is in need Sunghoon just shuts him out because thats what Sunghoon is used to, being shut out, and Sunoo does nit mind because hes used to it but itndoesnt mean that he isnt hurt. While he's hurt Sunghoon is just livin his life, hence parasitic.

So in the end, I wanted to show what I just want to happen to my both sides.

Just be one with another and accept myself.

Like how Sunoo shows forgiveness despite all he's been through with Sunghoon, and Sunghoon showing his consciousness about how long he has been aware of Sunoo's condition. Understanding each other with addition of closure,

But it is impossible, because no matter how much I try to bring my two sides together they just repel each other, for they cant seem to be with one another.

Even just by making myself understand myself is a hard task, due to these two personas I have.

Its like trying to make two similar charged magnets stick to each other

Bla bla bla, i know this was boring but I just wanted to show the meaning of the oneshot and how I wanted to relay my vents and feelings as of the moment.

So i hope this cleared stuff in helping yall understand it.

BYEBYE, STAY TUNED FOR A LOT MORE ONESHOTS