My time

chapter 5

Han's pov
"God damn it" I fell on the floor catching my breath...I didn't even eat yet I kept on throwing up....I swallowed hard helping myself up, I made my way toward the cabin to grab my pills...
"This is getting worse day by day" I said looking at myself through the mirror...it is been two weeks since I found out about my brain tumour and since that day the symptoms kept on getting worse...my face looked as pale as a ghost...for sure chan hyung is going to notice this.

I shook my head walking out of the bathroom...I didn't talk to him since his birthday...he tried approaching me but I ran...even his friends and boyfriend seemed pushy these days...felix sat next to in class the other day....seungmin offered me some of his snacks and tried to open a conversation with me...hell lee minho who was always glaring at me since we officially met helped me up after I clumsily tripped on the stairs...like what is wrong with them? Why are they being nice to me? I hate this...I was hardly dealing with chan hyung I don't need more people...I took a deep breath siting on the couch, I never had friends...when I lived with grandpa most kids ignored me because they thought I am cursed...but after his death I was the one to push everyone away of me....I was used to being lonely anyways.

I took a sip of my drink opening the TV, it was a kdrama....a romantic one at that...the couple were in a date, I watched as the male lead leaned in to peck the woman's lips before they hugged....I know it is acting...but they looked happy...I never had the chance to have a partner...I have never had the chance to kiss anyone...whenever I feel attracted to anyone I push my feelings away...whenever someone try to approach me my rude behavior made them ran from me...all people thinks that I am a rude person...a brat...full of himself...but I am not...that's not who I am.
"At this point I don't even know who I am," I murmured closing the TV.

I have been acting this way to the point that I have forgotten the real me....but who is he really? The last time I enjoyed my life was when I was like ten after that age I start understanding why people hated me...at that point my life changed...I was just living because I was breathing...I forgot about my dreams...my goals...everything...what do I like to do? What do I want to do? The answer to that is simple...I don't know.
"Why the hell I am questioning this now?" I asked myself out loud...I lived like this for years....is it the fact that I am dying? Looking back at eighteen years of my existence what did I accomplish?, is it even enough to do anything? The only thing I managed to do is to be a cursed on my family...and on myself...

"Stop with this jisung...you can't change anything now...you are going to die" I said swallowing the lump on my throat...there is no regretting my actions now...there is no regretting not enjoying the couple of years I had...not having friends or a lover...no it is for the best...I wouldn't have wanted them to suffer when I die...this is for the best.
"I live alone...and die alone no one will get hurt" I said nodding to myself...I wish this was different but unfortunately it is not...I will just have to suck it up and move on....

Hyunjin's pov
"Where is it I swear I have seen it somewhere" I murmured going through the box it was filled with old books that my mom owned she didn't even used them for years...I always sneaked in the basement so I found them.
"I got you" I said smiling widely I grabbed the book before i immediately teleported back to my room...my eyes immediately fell on the monitoring screen to see han jisung sleeping in the living room...well cried himself to sleep.
"I am going to get in trouble for this" I whispered glancing at the book inside my hand.

It is a magical book...time masters can't perform spells of course but this one doesn't need witch powers...I can't even reach one if i wanted to...I only have access to earth 12 only humans exist here...I swallowed hard looking between jisung and the book...I am going to get in a great trouble...but I just...I just can't bring myself to watch him die...i took a deep breath opening the book...time masters are moral beings just like humans but guess what...I am an exception...the only exception...I am immortal...
"I got you" i smirked seeing the spell in front of me...a linking spell...as long as i linked han jisung's life to mine...he wouldn't die...is this stupid and reckless to do ? Yes...Will I regret this? Probably yes...but I don't want him to die.