Storm and Grace

Warmth of Your Hand

Johnny's POV

Nothing made sense. It was as if my mind went from living every emotion in slow motion. To everything stopping and I was there. Alone.

One thing I knew for sure was that if Jen died, then I would go with her. I was certain of that.

I pulled away from Lin and Ricky's grasp and began walking towards Jen. The tears kept falling down my face but it was almost as if I didn't feel them. I had never cried so much in my life. Not the way I did now.
I woke up crying, I went to sleep crying.

The only thing that ever-made things better was Jen.

And now people were planning her funeral.

I pulled a chair and sat next to Jen. My mind immediately going back to that first time she had been hospitalized back in Mexico. I sat in the exact same place. Holding her hand and praying she would make it. Back to me, where she belonged.

I let out a sob. I slowly grabbed her hand and sobbed into it.

"John," I heard Lin-Manuel call out. But I decided to ignore him.

"John," he continued. "I think it'd be best if we got some rest."

"No," I shook my head. "I want to stay here."

"Come on, Johnny," Ricky said, placing a hand to my shoulder. "Let's get some rest."

"No," I cried.

"Let him," Lin-Manuel whispered to Ricky. "Let's give him some time alone with Jen."

I could almost picture Ricky nodding and walking away.

"We'll be outside," Lin-Manuel called out.

I kissed Jen's hand again. And closed my eyes.

"I'll never forget the moment I first laid eyes on you," I began. I opened my eyes and gently rubbed her hand with my thumb. Her hand was soaked from my tears.

"The way Tim talked about you," I continued. "I could have sworn you were an older lady. But I was shocked when he introduced me to you. You took my breath away."

I sniffed. Remembering the way, she looked. Those hazel eyes. That smile. Those lips. Her laugh. Her perfume that lingered even when I was away from her.

"It wasn't until we had that first conversation, alone," I continued. "that's when I knew you were different. Because I knew that what I felt in that moment I had never felt before. I was with other women, loved them all in my own way. But I never felt that feeling of comfort. Of belonging with anyone the way I felt like when I was with you."

I looked at her face. The tube that was placed in her mouth shattered my heart.

"I knew then that I belonged with you," I cried. "I belong to you."

I looked down and sobbed.

I missed her touch. I missed the way she made me feel. Our conversations. The way she made things better. The way she helped me understand things without me losing my head. She was my reasoning. My rock. My world. The love of my life.

"You can't leave me," I sobbed. "I can't live without you."

I placed my forehead on top of her hand as I sobbed my sorrow away.

Take me with you.

But then I felt something move. Was that--?

I immediately raised my head and looked at her hand. It was laying still. No movement.

Was I going crazy? I could have sworn I felt her hand move.

I looked at her face and my heart stopped. Her eyes were open.

"Jen," I called out. I got up and got closer to her.

She was looking up at the ceiling.

"Jen," I called out again.

She slowly blinked and then turned her gaze towards me.

She was alive. She was awake.

I sobbed and gently touched her forehead.

"I'm here, Jen." I cried out to her. "I'm here."

She blinked and continued to look at me.

"John?" I heard Lin-Manuel's call out.

"She's awake," I cried out.

Within seconds, I felt Lin-Manuel by my side as he inspected Jen himself.

"Jen," he cried out. Realizing she was awake. "You're awake."

I felt Lin-Manuel place his hand on my shoulder. Both of us crying.

"I'm gonna let everyone know she's awake," he said, almost running out of that room.

"Baby," I said holding her face in my hands. "You're safe. You're gonna be okay."

She kept looking at me but didn't respond.

"Mr. Depp," I heard the doctor call out. "I'm gonna need you to step aside so we can check her vitals."

I reluctantly pulled away. I didn't want to leave her side.

I watched as the doctors checked her vitals.

"Why can't she respond?" I asked the doctor.

"She's probably coming out of shock," the doctor answered. "And the tube isn't helping either. Her body has been through a lot. It's gonna take a while for her body to respond."

I nodded and continued to look as the doctor gave the nurses some instructions.

"We'll see how she responds in the next couple of hours," the doctor said, looking at me. "If she continues to show signs of improvement, we'll remove the tube."

I nodded.

"I wasn't expecting her to recover," the doctor smiled at me. "I'm so glad she did. I'm truly happy for you all."

I sniffed and gave him a thankful smile.

Within seconds, her parents and grandparents were surrounding Jen. Crying tears of joy as they realized the storm had passed. She was gonna make it. And we didn't have to plan for that stupid ritual of theirs.

"Johnny," her grandmother said gently. She placed her hand on my cheek. "You were the only one that never lost hope. You held on until the end. And never lost hope."

I nodded and smiled. I sniffed. I was both relieved and ecstatic.

"You were both placed on this earth to be each other's soulmates," she smiled. She pulled me in for a hug. "I'm so glad she found you."

I sniffed and felt the tears falling down my face again. Only this time, these tears were tears of joy. Hope.

My soulmate.