Pleasing

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*2 MONTH LATER*

MARCEL POV

I sit with my legs spread as I let the little woman practices her presentation, she has for one of her classes.  Her body language being centered and focused as she looks briefly at the screen and back at me. My eyes scan her pastel yellow toes to her tummy and back to her eyes. Her presentation being on the mental health crisis in teenagers. Jennifer was always good with making something sound so bad... hopeful. Every sad thing she said she added a positive aspect. I could tell she spent time on the presentation.

   She then presses to the APA citation slide.

"And done." Jennifer says proudly with pink cheeks.

My hands meet each other as I give a round of applause. "Wonderful, amazing, grammy winning presentation." I praise and she giggles. She bows and says thank you. "So, give me feedback." Her eyes cling to me. I scratch the side of my head and raise an eyebrow. "Speak slower baby." I say hesitantly. She groans and face palms and I instantly regret speaking. "Chaton..." The word always gaining her attention.

My hand signals for her to come here and a slight sigh reaches my ear. Watch it. Jennifer walks over and sits firmly on my lap looking down. " Qué te pasa?" I speak tapping her chin. "Es difícil cómo nada cambia... sin importar lo mucho que lo intento." Jennifer says with clenched fists and concern and confusion is the only thing I felt.

  (Whats wrong?) (It's difficult how nothing changes, no matter how hard I try.)

"No, mi amor, lo hiciste genial." I respond. Trying to comfort her. She could be talking about a lot of things to be honest. A painful groan escapes her lips as she presses her stomach. "Jennifer..." I trail off. She's been avoiding the doctors ever since she's started getting cramping. I've tried to do research on why, but I was left with nothing. "Let's go now." I suggest and she shakes her head frantically. "Why not baby? What's wrong?" I ask concerned.

Tears hit my forearm as she looks down at her stomach. "I think I had a miscarriage." Her voice low and strained. Her hand cups her mouth as she quiets her sobs, and I take a deep breath wrapping my arms around her. "You think, baby. You think." I repeat. "We don't know." My lips pepper her forehead. "What if I had a miscarriage, Marcel. What then?" Her head lifts off my chest as she stares at me. I was stuck speechless not knowing what we would do. I was no near experienced with this as well. She went to sigh but clutches her stomach again. "Fine, let's go." Her jaw clenches.

I grab the keys and clutch Jennifers hand as we walk to the car and head to parenthood healthc are center.

JENNIFER POV

My heart was aching in pain with mixed emotions. I didn't even want this baby. Or did I? It wasn't planned. I would love to have a baby. I love babies!

I knew there was bleeding. But I couldn't face the truth. I also had so much hope that I would have been able to save it, but I didn't know how.

My cheeks felt hot, and I knew I was flushed from embarrassment. I should've told him what was happening. But even I didn't even know what was happening. I was guessing and I hate confrontation over this. This isn't what was supposed to happen. I'm still so young and have so much time to want a baby. I close my eyes and do my 4-7-8 breathing technique. Marcel had his hand on my knee and squeezed it. 

The trees were blurred, and the sunshine was moving past my gaze as the power of my brain squeezed through past all the little positive things. Not letting me sit relaxed. 

  We reached the center, and I felt the cold air rush through the doors as we step foot in it. We do a walk-in and luckily, they had a 15 min wait slot for us. Hopefully they are just as nice as regular doctors. 

   Marcel knew I didn't want to talk or anything, so we just sat there and waiting for everything to play out. Soon my name gets called and I sigh hopeful there is no complications and it's just a simple answer. I haven't drunk any alcohol or smoked. If I did have a miscarriage, why? 

  I slowly walk back with Clea and Marcel behind me as she directs us to a room. She checks my vitals and making sure everything is all set. She soon asks what's the issue and I sigh squeezing the discomfort down my throat. "I think I had a miscarriage." I say with a crack in my voice. She nods and writes a few things down. "Well, your vitals are good and you're healthy. How do you feel about being pregnant, did you take a test?"  She asks and I nod. 

"It wasn't planned but I'm not upset about the news, I'm conflicted still. it's only really been 2 months." I say and confirm we took a test. "Symptoms?" Another question comes up and I think. "Cramping, bleeding but it's heavy and I'm obviously not on my period!" I explain.

  "Proud of you Jennifer." Marcel says to the right of me. I smile lightly and sigh with comfort. 

I look around and control my breathing before the technician comes in and guides us to the ultrasound room. "Have you ever had an ultrasound before?" She asks and I respond with a no. Marcel waits outside, and she instructs me to lift my top and prepare for a cold substance. I take a deep breath and feel it instantly. I close my eyes and tell to just let it out for me. Put it all on the plate. Don't sugar coat it. No lies. 

   "Can you open your eyes please." Clea instructs. I do and she points, "let me explain." A few minutes pass by and she explains. "There is no heartbeat and the embryo and quite small for a 2 month." She takes a deep breathe.

 "I'm sorry." Clea says and I close my eyes with a sigh coming out. A relief one? A stressed one? A sad one? I don't even know.