Ceilings- AJxNiko

Part 29

One week. One whole week since Niko's been gone, and to say Aj was handling it well would be far from the truth. He hasn't left his room since they got back, not having the heart to go see the bed they used to lay. He hasn't eaten, barley slept and has cried enough tears to fill a pool. Although the other boys weren't handling it well either, they had to put up a strong front for Aj.  They all attempted to give him food, but every time they'd go to give him the next meal they'd see the untouched plates on the desk where they'd been left. They knew Aj was cutting again, they could see the dried blood stains soaking the sheets, but they couldn't do anything about it. If any of them tried to interfere Aj would scream at them to get the fuck out his room. Obviously they didn't take it to heart, knowing what the boy was going through, but there was something in them that wanted to yell back. Tell him they missed Niko too, and he'd be back soon. But they couldn't. No one had the energy. All they can do is thank god they had a couple weeks of pre-recorded videos, so no one would get suspicious. 

Aj was finding every way possible to self-destruct. When Chunkz came in and took all his blades, he used the knife given for his meals, and when Chunkz cut up his food for his and took the knife, he'd give himself paper cuts, or smash picture frames and use the glass. If he continued like this very soon, Aj would be dead.

The other boys managed to live somehow. They too would cry themselves to sleep every night, praying Niko would come home safe. But they were living.  That's when they decided enough was enough. They'd lost Niko, but Niko would come back. If they lost Aj, they wouldn't. Niko leaving would've been for nothing. 

Niko leaving ruined them.

...

Another week passed and They were all sat in the living room, all staring into thin air, small talk here and there. Sharky would tear up any time they'd be having a stupid conversation and he'd imagine what Niko would say. He'd laugh with tears filling his eyes. Kenny was doing more and more training, taking out his anger and frustrations in the gym. And Chunkz? Chunkz acted as if nothing happened. He was living his life as if Niko wasn't there to begin with. The strange feeling of absence numbing his other emotions. They could hear Aj's sobs flooding through the house. It was always the same time every week. 9 .p.m. on Tuesdays and 8 .p.m. on Saturdays. That's when 'Niko' posted. It was actually George posting the pre-recorded videos, he had no clue what was going on, simply Niko would be going away for a while. None of the boys had the heart to tell him. They didn't think they could even get the words out themselves never mind having to tell another person. 

The Beta House was crumbling.

"That's it." Chunkz says, after hearing another crash from Aj's room, "We need to help Aj. We may have lost Niko, but he's coming back. And if he gets back and Aj is gone then we'll loose him too. I know its hard. But mourning isn't going to bring him back. We just have to push through the next few weeks and Niko will be back."

Sharky nods, "You're right. We haven't lost Niko. He will be back. We may loose Aj though, and that's not something we'd ever recover from."

Kenny sits there in silence, he just nods agreeing with Chunkz and Sharky but not having the energy to muster out words. 

Another crash is heard, and Sharky gets up "I'll go."

Sharky walks up to Aj's room and slams the door open. He sees Aj curled into a ball on the floor, shattered glass scattered around him, blood soaking the carpet. In the back you can hear Niko's voice, his recent NDL video playing. 

"Oh Aj." Sharky sighs, tearing up at the mess infront of him. He goes over and picks Aj up, as if he weights nothing, which at this point he did. He places him on the toilet seat of the bathroom, and wets a cloth, dabbing at his wrists. He notices blood dripping down from under his shorts, and when he pulls it up he sees the destructive artwork Aj painted on his thigh. It was evident there were scars from a while back, and when sharky is done cleaning the area, the bleeding stopping, he traces the scars left on his thighs. 

"Why, Aj. I know its hard, but why," Sharky  has no other words. He needs time to think. 

"I'm sorry Sharks. I never stopped, I mean I kinda did, I rarely cut anymore, I was getting better. Then, Then," Aj hiccups, " Then He left. Because of me. It's my fault he's gone. It's my fault all of you are suffering and God knows what he's going though right now. But its because of Me. I'm so sorry." 

Sharky allows Aj to drop from the toilet seat onto his lap, pulling him in as he lays against the bathtub. "Aj, It's not your fault. Niko did this for you because he loves you. He would've done it for any of us. Don't blame yourself over something you can't control."

"But it is my fault Sharks. If I had gone he would still be here."

"And if you had gone, you'd still be apart. We'd all still be like this Aje. Niko would want us to live normally, as if nothing happened, so when he comes back you're still here." Sharky thinks for a second, the next words he's about to say may sound manipulative but he has to, or he'd loose Aj too, "Aj, if you continue like this, Niko will come back and you're gone. He would've left for no reason. You wouldn't want that would you?"

"No."

"Exactly. I know it's hard, trust me. But Niko would want you to live your life. So that when he gets back, you're still here waiting for him. So, lets go downstairs, and order some food. You haven't eaten in so long." He rubs Aj's stomach, causing Aj to burst into giggles. "There's my boy. Now, let's go." 

Sharky lets Aj stand, holding his hips to allow him to regain balance. He then stands and starts to walk away. He turns to see Aj has barely moved. 

"Uhm Sharks. My legs hurt," He blushes. He was hinting he wasn't in the mood to walk, and Shaky could read Aj's face instantly. He kneels in front of the boy, winking up at him, before turning around to give Aj a piggy back. The wink causes Aj to laugh, as Sharky takes him downstairs to the other boys. 

..

"Look who I found," Sharky smiles as he walks into the living room with Aj on his back. He places him beside Chunkz, who wraps his arm around him. "Hey, its been a while huh Ley," He laughs.

"Yeah. I'm sorry" AJ says looking down sadly.

"What on Earth are you sorry for," Kenny asks.

"I- You guys lost Niko too and I know its hard for you guys as well, and me hiding in my room doesn't help. Also for shouting at you guys for trying to help, I really did appreciate it" 

"Don't be stupid, Aj. You needed your time. Everyone deals with things in different ways. At least your here now, innit." Chunkz says. He'd never want AJ to feel sorry for expressing his emotions.

The boys sat there for a while just talking. It had been a long time since they had just talked. Yes they lived together, but even when Niko as there it was always simple convos rather than Talking. 

Half way through Kenny announced he was going to the toilet, but was gone for a while. He came back all sweaty and the boys joked he'd gone for a quickie. All the boys felt some sort of ease lifted off their chests, having the closeness and reliability of each other. They were all going through the same thing, and need each other more than ever.

They ordered food, and continued the chat, until they pulled out the sofa beds in the living room, all wanting the proximity of one another, Being in neighbouring rooms wasn't enough.

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1407 words. 

I like where this is going, and trust me it gets better. Maybe a little more pain, but it does get better :) 

anyways, love youseeeee