Undercover!! Kenma x Spy reader

Chapter 13

It has been a few hours since Kenma had confessed his feelings to me for the second time in our lifetime. Feelings, that are so strong, they survived against all things that I had done. Thinking, that this outcome was for the better, for him and for me, was the only thing getting my head to work right now. 

I was back at the university for the afternoon lecture I had signed in for, which was also one of the only classes that Kenma wasn't in with me. It was a real coincidence, that we took so many lectures together. What a cruel way to tell me that he was so close yet so far away. The dried tears, the pain hiding behind them,  was more real than ever. Even if I was upset right now, it wouldn't have the space to occupy my head. But, these for a spy useless emotion, infiltrated my scheming head the whole time. 

The lecture was as normal as each one that I had attended in the time I had here. I looked around and the brown haired guy fell into my field of vision. I didn't even know why, but I felt a sweatdrop roll down my back as an uncomfortable knot formed in my stomach. No one seemed to feel the sufficating atmosphere around him. His gaze fell onto me and my breath hitched. The grip on my pen hardend, the smile of his hiding a disturbing deception, had me almost losing my compurse. 

Does he know who I am? The question came up in my mind, as soon as that smiled appeared on his face. Stop thinking so much! I am most likely just overthinking this again! Right?

The lecture ended soon after and the unwell feeling of the last hour hadn't let go off me. As soon as I was out of the hall, I quickely ran to the next bathrooms. It was the first instinct that came over me. This guy shouldn't know what I have planned for tonight. 

The restroom was cleared off all people. I quickely opened the vent over me and climbed inside. There weren't any cameras in the restroom, making this an easy peasy task for me. I'd just spent the next few hours here, till midnight so I can steal the flower and afterwards cry an ocean of regret and guilt at the organisation. 

But for now, let's just find a comfortable place, where I can prepare everything. I crawled through the thight space a few meters, till I hit my knee hard on a pipe, under me. 

„Ouch!" I quickely slapped my hand over my mouth. If anyone heard that, I am going to be in big trouble. I didn't move a centimeter for what felt like ages. But guessing, it must have been less than 5 minutes. I gulped down the feeling of anxiety before getting my spy equipment out of my backpack. 

Night time took over quite fast, and the already quiet vents turned even quieter. With the digital plan of where the flower was stored, in one hand, I quickely but silently crawled out of the vent. The restroom was cold and dark, the moonlight shining through the small windows. 

I put over my black, worn out beanie, the same one, I had gotten from the boss when I first became a spy. I inhaled the air to calm myself down, but only the smell of dirty public restrooms filled my nostrils. Well, that didn't work as I thought. I coughed, suprised how bad it could smell here, for a renowed university like this. 

But it wasn't like anyone could hear me now, right? I opened the door, to actually breath normal air, only to find someone about to walk by it. It wasn't just someone. Someone I wouldn't recognize, but rather, a person I had learned to know very well, learned to love. 

„(U/N)?", he called my name. My eyes widen in suprise. Questions raced through my mind as we stared into eachothers eyes, my brain almost forgetting how to work. 

„Kenma...? What are you doing here?!", I asked, almost sounding distraught. The confusion that lingered between us, growing with every word that tumbled out of our mouths. 

„When you had ran away in the park, I came back to the university, to look for you. I waited infront of your lecture hall but you were gone the second all the students left. I went to the libary, hoping, you'd be there, but instead I heard a loud „ouch" coming from the vents, that are visible in there.", he explained. „I recognized your voice, so I waited. But I fell asleep doing so and just woke up again."

A nervous smile appeared on my face at his explaination. So, I'm getting a civilian in trouble, because I was being too loud!? I really am a failure of a spy.. „More than that, I wanted to ask you, why you are here, hiding in the vents."

I felt my palms sweating under the pressure that this situation was putting me under. I, under no circumstances, can tell him about my profession or the mission! I need to find something to change the topic, as soon as possible. If not, I don't even want to think about the consequences. 

„Uhh... Wait, why did you search for me?", I asked, geniunely curious about his decision to look for me. I thought, I had already hurt him enough, he wouldn't want to search for someone like me. He looked at me earnestly, never leaving my eyes. 

„I can't tell you. I don't know, why I did that. But, something I know is, that I love you. I want to stay by your side, even if it meant we'd just be friends."

My eyes, that looked at him with surpise slowly turned to the cold blue floor.  „Why.. Kenma?" Hot tears, I tried to supress, swelled up in my eyes. „Can't you just forget about me?! I am not the person, you think I am! I am not good enough for you..."

The louder my voice got, the more desperate I sounded. My gaze fell onto him as more and more tears rolled down my cheeks. Hands trembling, in anger at myself, for being so weak and confused, by his too kind words. But also, the undying love I still harboured for him.

I rubbed the tears away with the hem of my shirt but they just kept on falling. „I.. I am sorry, Kenma. You shouldn't see me like this..." The words had just left my mouth, and I suddenly felt the warmth around me, that I had longed for so long. „It's fine, (U/N). It's all fine..." 

Was he comforting me? After all I did, he still was here by my side. It was almost unbelievable. He really is unbelievably stubborn. Surrounded by his presence, comforted by his warmth and words, triggered only more silent tears. The blueish light of the full moon shone through the window as quiet sniffles escaped from me.