Undercover!! Kenma x Spy reader

Chapter 12

The weeks have been flying by and I didn't even notice the time passing seemingly faster when I was with Kenma. Even if I still didn't know what I should feel about this, about him. But still, I noticed the butterflies fluttering in my stomach everytime my eyes found his.

As if that wasn't already enough, Kenma sticked to me like chewing gum to the desks at Nekoma. But problem is, that I couldn't reject him. As much as I needed to, I couldn't. I didn't want to, even if it was probably the best choice. Since the day we had met again, we have been almost inseperable. After class we went to the cafe around the corner of the university and talk about everything and nothing for hours. We'd sit in class together and do the assignments in the libary.

I felt great, alive, almost too well, in his presence. I am the happiest since I have last been with Kenma. Well, I knew this wasn't going to last. This story is destined to not get a happy ending. It was suprising enough that Kenma still wants to be around me, after I told him the teeny tiny lie at our first meeting at the café. But would he even want to think of me after I tell him the actual truth? I wouldn't think so. If it would ever come to the point in which I'd actually tell him the truth. The most likely thing to happen would be that I just vanish after the mission, that I need to manage right now aswell, is over. But will I be able to do so?

It has been 3 weeks. Three whole weeks since Kenma had finally seen her again. It was almost like a fairy tale in his mind. The years he had tried to contact her, meet her somewhere again, or just simply wishing to know how she was doing, had finally paid off. The bright eyes of hers, were time stopping, just like back when they were still highschoolers. The second she run into him, he was almost too sure, that she was the one, he had searched for the past years.

It seemed almost like the gods heard his desperate pleas. He knew, that still thinking about her wasn't the smartest thing to. He would have been better off to just forget her. But he couldn't. Even after all these years that had passed since she vanished from the surface of the earth. Well, at least from his neighbourhood (at that point of time). But there were lots of questions open.

After she explained herself, Kenma was feeling bad to have brought up these memories. What has she been through, the years he couldn't comfort her, hug her and tell her that everything was going to be fine? The slight irritation and confusion was overthrown by worry and a softened heart. He knew, whatever her reasons were, he couldn't stay mad at her. Remembering the day she kissed him goodbye with tears prickling in the corner of her eyes, he knew that something must have happened, that was more important than the feelings accumulated inbetween them.

„Hey, (U/N)" I heard Kenma say softly in the cold autumn air. The colorful leaves rained down as the harsh october breeze blew by us, not even the scarfs we were wearing could protect us. But I still felt warmth spreading from my heart to my whole body.

I felt a light touch on my pinky finger, only to feel the touch slowly enveloping my whole hand. My heart stopped for a second as I started to realize what happened. We continued to walk through the park and the small pond next to us suddenly looked five times more interesting than the situation I was in. I just needed any distraction, before my ears would start to smoke because of this familiar feeling.

Kenma stopped walking and turned to me. I avoided his piercing gaze, that threatened to make my legs feel like pudding any second. „(U/N). Please look at me." I slowly tilted my head to meet his eyes, that were filled with love and adoration. My heart sank at what I knew would soon leave his lips.

„Since the day you had came by on my birthday, maybe even before that, and the second time I let you into my life, I always loved you. Even if I were more then often not sure what you were thinking, and till now I don't know if I actually even know you. But my feelings have never wavered once. Not even after you had left. You were the only one I felt like I could be myself, back when we were in highschool, and even now. So, I want to ask you, if you allow me to get to know you from now on too. To understand you and be with you."

His earnest words made the hole I felt in my heart feel even bigger than before. The way his eyes were so hopeful and glittering in the with red brown leaves decorated parc, would probably stick in my head forever. I like him, I love him more dearly than any other person I had ever met. But this was impossible.

„I... I am sorry, Kenma." I wriggled my hand out of his, my gaze on the muddy floor. „I.. I love you too. I love you so much! But this can't work.. I am a horrible person... You shouldn't be with someone like me. You deserve someone who can stay with you and make you happy. Someone who doesn't need to lie to you..."

I whispered the last part before running away. I couldn't face the truth of the situation. It was just like 7 years ago. It reminded me of the evening, I had left behind someone so precious to me, that it had distraught me so much, I had stayed up with X for five days.

But now it was different. I was an adult, but I still wasn't able to stay and comfort him, even if he probably wouldn't have wanted that. I really was a horrible person.

Suddenly I felt a vibration in the pocket of my coat. I stopped to run abruptly, rubbing away the tears that had formed in my eyes. I looked at the screen to see a call from X. He would notice it directly, if I sound off for just a second. I need to get myself together, quickly. I inhaled sharply, before answering the call.

„Hello, X. What is it?"

„Hello. I have some pretty bad news for you." His serious tone of voice piqued my interest and the pain was momentarily forgotten. „What do you mean, X?"

„You know that guy from your class, you spoke of 3 weeks ago? I finally had the time to research about him. The past few weeks have been pretty busy here, you know? The thing is, there is literally nothing about him at all. No registrations ever made, it's like he never existed."

My eyes widened slightly at the information. The suspicion I felt when I saw him almost weekly in class, just by multiplied by ten. If my intuition is not fooling me, I don't have a lot of time left. No, it's not only my intuition. These are facts. If he is actually a terrorist, I will need to put this at a stop as soon as possible.

„X, tell the boss, that I will bring the flower back not as planned in a week but tonight."