Undercover!! Kenma x Spy reader

Chapter 17

It has been a month since the day I finally confessed all the lies to kenma. It has been one month full of, stress with work, regret and guilt seeping all my attention. The only thing keeping me awake at this point was the thought that I made this world a better place.

But, am I happy in this better world? For what am I working hard, when I am about to fall apart? It's not like there is anything or anybody I can go back to. I have already sealed my fate, the second I ran away from Kenma like a coward.

I sighed for the fifth time already, sipping this orange juice, tasting a little old. Like the old getting feeling of emptiness. Why am I acting so melodramatic? What am I talking about? Though, the answer is pretty clear.

I knew, from the beginning that if I met Kenma just once after our highschool days it would be one of the hardest things for me to leave again. For the second time. I mean, I survived the first time aswell, but there was always something, or rather someone, tugging at my heart. And what makes it even worse is that I have told him everything. And for once, all the worries were lifted off my heart. But now..

Is this the way of I am supposed to atone for my sins?

Well, you'er doing no one a favor with that. X stared at lazulite, who sat on a plastic chair in the deepest of corner, sighning for the thousandth time while drinking expired orange juice. She constantly looked like a dead fish and she most likely felt like one aswell.

He noticed the change in behaviour since she ended her mission at the university. Everyone had. And he meant everyone. From applemap, with whom she had a pretty good relationship with since her mission in Nekoma high, to the old snownight to even the boss.

The boss stood behind X, looking at lazulite, a blood vessel almost popping in annoyance. „Lazulite. Please come to my office later." The boss turned around to leave the room again after making sure lazulite had actually heard her. Really, she reminded her of a dead fish.

I heard the door fall shut again and I lifted my gaze to look into the glass I held in my hand. I saw little white spots swimming in the orange coloured juice. Did I really just drink that?

I heard X sigh. „Did you really just notice that?"

„Yeah. Must be expired." Sometimes it felt like he knew exactly what I was thinking. Sometimes, it was creepy. Sometimes, I felt like he really just cared a lot about me.

„Do you think she will give me another mission?"

„Most likely."

„I don't want to...", I answered him under a lazy pout, the muscles in my face too tired to move much. I lifted the cup in my hand, sipping on it again.

A frown appeared on X face, as he studied lazulite. It was similiar to what had happened after her highschool mission was over. It was hard getting her more motivated. But now... Now, it was even harder. She didn't just feel like a dead fish, she was one.

It was a few hours after the boss came to us. I stood up from the plastic garden chair, that randomly appeared in X's office. I don't want a new mission- I don't want to do anything. My stomach ached, after that expired orange juice. But was it just the orange juice?

I opened the door to the boss's office. She sat on her chair, one leg kicked over the other one as she stared on a document in her hand.

„Lazulite." She stopped for a second but it wasn't like she hesitated.

„You're fired."

My eyes moved from the floor to her. Confusion washed over me. For the first time, in a month my head didn't feel clouded. „What?"