How We Became Us

Chapter 16

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Matt woke up early, got himself ready for another day at school, and rubbed in the cream that Elizabeth had given him before going over to Connor's so that she could put it on his back where he couldn't see or reach. It hurts. It hurts like hell, but the physical pain has become a dull ache, but the psychological damage is still there. He truthfully doesn't know which is worse—being beaten within an inch of his life or being left in a room by himself, naked, and going crazy. He shivers at the thought, wraps his sweater around himself tighter, and catches his reflection in the mirror. He pauses, pulls down the collar of his shirt, and lifts his chin to see the light pink line at the bottom of his neck. He's glad they didn't leave a noticeable mark, and he avoids it like the plague, but from the short conversation with Heather and Connor yesterday, he knows he can't. He can't put his friends through that, and he knows he has to talk about it; he doesn't know how. He doesn't even understand why he did it. He barely remembers anything physical from those two weeks, only that he was going crazy, and he has nightmares every night about different scenarios that he doesn't want to touch with a ten-foot pole.

He has debated several times to talk to them about it. He knows that no matter how much he loves Heather, something like this, he feels more comfortable with Connor. Maybe it's because his body remembers when Connor was there for him since the beginning and having witnessed most of his trauma as well as heard and comforted him. Maybe it's because Heather has never shied away from showing her emotions on her face, which often meant she would get pissed the second Matt talked about it. He doesn't know the reason, but he knows it's easier to talk to Connor about this. He feels bad for thinking about that, especially since it's his fake girlfriend, and Heather has always been there to support him, but he doesn't even know how long it would take to get the words out of his mouth. He doesn't know if he and Connor would sit in his room for hours before Matt dares to speak. It has happened in the past; typically, Matt is drawing or painting, and Connor is reading or doing homework, both highly aware of the other's every movement.

Matt shakes himself out of it, grabs his school bag, and goes downstairs to grab an apple.

He hasn't walked into the kitchen since he found out Cassie was fired. He was furious when he found out, so much so that Robert had to keep him from running downstairs and yelling at his parents. He misses her presence, seeing her in the morning after his workouts and talking with her before school. But he sees her today after school before he goes to Kelly's. He has talked to her over the phone, and she and Elizabeth are constantly bombarding him about whether or not he is taking care of himself. Matt can't feel annoyed; he is just loved and basked in the attention of the two people he sees as a mother figure for as long as it lasts. He's not stupid; he's aware that it won't end pretty well now that he has finally admitted that he wants out of his father's grasp. But for once in his life, it's a risk he's willing to take, especially if that means he could be free to be who he is and not look over his shoulder every two seconds.

"Hiya," Matt greets, walking into Connor's room through the balcony. Connor doesn't move from his place on the bed, and Matt looks over to see it's only six thirty, which means Connor won't wake up for another fifteen minutes. Matt drops his school bag on Connor's desk and quietly walks out of Connor's bedroom, searching for Elizabeth. He loves it when it's just Connor and Elizabeth at home because the air in the Rhodes household lessens, and everyone is at ease.

"Did you eat?" Elizabeth's voice rings through Matt's brain, and he jumps, looking down the stairs to see the blonde woman stare at him sternly. Matt smiles sheepishly and holds up the apple he's taken one bite of. Elizabeth sighs, rolls her eyes, and motions Matt down, and the teen quickly follows her into the kitchen.