The stormy season | Under the queens umbrella x reader

20 • loved

EDITED

Weeks passed after the night. The palace had moved on but your quarters still felt as cold as that night. Nobody dared to talk about it, it was such a fragile subject. Not only due to the death of the kings granddaughter but due to the way you had reacted. A side of you was shown to the palace. And although some may think you were childish for those who witnessed your reaction, they knew you were serious. For something sparked in your eyes when you shouted you'd find whoever did this. And unfortunately those who should be afraid were not present that night.

The King tried to move on and had the nursery rebuilt quickly to help the mourning process. Seongnam preoccupied himself with work and slowly the nights went from the two of you together to you lying there alone and awake. If you did sleep it wouldn't normally be a good nights sleep, either it was short or you would wake up screaming from a nightmare. Hoping for your husband to rush in and comfort you but instead it was Ms Kim. You were always grateful for her but you longed for Seongnam.

It was difficult to move on from, after all she was your daughter and you honestly felt like you could never move on. Your anger had dissipated, especially after the other women in the palace tried to force the belief of the gods doing such a thing however you could never shake the face you saw consort Hwang pull, it's what kept you up at night.

You were sitting with the Queen dowager and the Queen having afternoon tea.

"Oh crown princess, cheer up. What happened was tragic but it was weeks ago. Focus on looking towards the future." The Queen dowager said seeing you. Fed up with your behaviour. She didn't even try to hide it.

"My apologies , it still shocks me..." you admitted.

"Crown Princess don't worry, losing a child is something so major that you wish would never happen to anyone. Not even your worst enemy." The Queen said trying to let you know your feelings were very valid. She looked at you with sympathy.

"It's best you and the crown prince work on getting pregnant again." The Queen dowager said , very clearly over the whole situation. You were hurt by her words but you tried to not let it show because although they were harsh they were also sadly the truth for the palace. It was clear the Queen didn't approve of the Queen dowagers words but not even she could do openly challenge them. "Or else we may have to already start looking for the crown princes second wife, I've heard there was a girl he once shared feelings with so I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem."

"Queen Dowager. Something tragic has occurred, do not push the crown princess. The young couple will work through this together."

"Together? I heard they haven't shared a bed for weeks. They are forcing this hand themselves."

You genuinely wanted to cry. It was so difficult. Your daughter was gone and now you were being criticised for mourning. The palace was tough and it was getting to you now more than ever. It sounds silly but you just wanted Seongnam. He always knew how to comfort you, he always knew what to say and do. Even if it wouldn't solve the issues of the past it would help you get through this. But you felt so selfish running to him. Making him look after you when he too needed looking after, but you felt you couldn't do that.

"The crown prince has been very occupied with his work as of recently. I must respect his space as he respects mine." You tried to play off hoping the emotion that tugged at your heart wasn't slipping through in the tone of your voice.

"Ha." The Queen dowager let out. "I didn't realise a prostitute was work. He's been leaving the palace to visit on for weeks." Was she being honest? Honestly it didn't matter, your throat went dry. Feeling like it was closing up. Tighter and tighter as the seconds passed. Making it so difficult to breathe.