"ALL THE BOOKS are from late 1800s or early 1900s." the teacher told them as the students were all approaching the desk to take one of the books. "Those who have chosen the same book are in the same group. I want you to read and reflect. I want you to do an oral presentation, so everyone has to participate to get a passing grade. Join your groups, and find a space where you can work."
Mae looked around as she put a lock of hair behind her ear. Henry approached her with a smile. "Looks like we've got the same book." he showed her the book Crisis by Karin Boye.
"Seems like it." she smiled.
The rest of their group was Wilhelm, Simon and Sara. That could've been worse. Mae and the boys sat in the library and Simon searched Karin Boye on the Internet.
"Karin Boye is born in 1900. Crisis is an autobiographical novel about 20-year-old Malin Forst, who is studying to be a teacher in 1920's Stockholm. She has a crisis of faith, and also develops feelings for a female classmate, which forces her to find her own truth, beyond all established ideals."
"So it's about God?" Henry asked. "I don't know about you but it was the shortest so I grabbed it."
"I didn't have a choice, it was the only one left." Wilhelm replied and Henry grinned.
"What's the plan?" Simon interrupted. "Who's doing what?"
"I'm not doing any talking. You guys will have to do it." Wilhelm said.
"Isn't Sara supposed to be in our group?" Henry asked.
"She forgot her notebook. She's coming." Simon explained.
Henry ran a hand through his hair. "Okay, well, in that case, I'll go grab a coffee."
"I'll come with you." Mae stood up after glancing at Simon.
That would be his chance to talk to Wilhelm. Henry and her walked to the counter and the boy nodded for her to talk first.
"Um, I'll have a hibiscus tea, please. Thank you." she asked the man.
"And I'll have a double expresso with sugar, please." Henry added.
The man nodded and walked to the coffee machine, leaving the two alone. Henry leaned against the counter and looked at her. "You didn't tell us why you chose this book."
"I just thought it was interesting." she shrugged.
"Really?"
"Yeah. I mean, being afraid of your future and questioning what you are doing is a theme quite universal, right? We're all a little lost sometimes, and I guess I just wanted to see how it was put in this book."
Henry stared at her with a smile. "You're something special, you know that?"
She felt her cheeks burn and looked away. How was he doing that? She had never blushed when a boy spoke to her before, yet every time Henry's eyes were landing on her, she was feeling like she was in elementary school. He was destabilizing her with an ease she had never known before.
Fortunately for her, the man came back with his coffee and her tea. He put them on the counter and looked at the pair. "Do you pay together or separately?"
"Together." Henry didn't let time for Mae to answer.
She looked at him in confusion while he was taking out his wallet. He paid the bartender and took Mae's cup of tea to hand it to her.
"Thank you." she said. "I'll pay you back."
"No, it's on me." he nodded.
And now her cheeks were turning red again. She gave him a soft smile. "Thank you." she whispered before they went back to the table with Wilhelm and Simon.
★
Training had been very hard that day. The next day there was the rowing competition and then the athletics competition. The whole school was talking about it. Even though it was just a friendly match, everyone was more than determined to win both of the competitions.
The coach had pushed them to their maximum that day and Britt had given them a super long speech of all the reasons why they had to win. A lot of pressure. But at least, her best friend Elisa called her earlier to let her know she would come to see her run. That made Mae very happy.
She and Elisa had met when they were six years old and had been inseparable ever since. They were very different. Elisa was outgoing, popular, confident. She was everything Mae wasn't. But in a way, they complemented each other.
They met during the first day of first grade and as usual, Mae was by herself, too shy to go ask the other kids if she could play with them. Elisa had come to see her and sat down next to her. She asked if she could be her friend and Mae said yes. It was the best decision she had ever made.
But even the good news of her friend's coming to the competition did not undo the knot in her stomach. That evening during dinner, Mae looked at the food without touching it. She was hungry but just the thought of eating made her want to throw up. Nothing appealed to her. Her mother's voice in her head kept telling her that she wasn't thin enough.
"You're not eating anything?" Sara asked her.
"No, I'm not hungry." she lied. "I think I'm stressed for tomorrow."
Sara smiled kindly. "You're going to be great."
Mae smiled back. She really hoped so.
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