Nevermind

Luv StroNg🌑

Inhale.

What does he mean? I really tried!

Zee always asks me "Why are you so mad? I gotchu fam!" It's because I've never had the guidance to help my anger.

Toxicity, heartbreak, and abandonment.

Exhale.

"UURRAHHHHH!!" The sound of the faucet water trumps my scream. Cold water regulates my body temperature, but my heart is hot.

Bloop!!

Blood drips down my fingers. The metal scent circulates my lungs, it heightens the raging emotions trapped in this bathroom.

I need to be cool like winter. "I got to be calmer."

What am I heated for? Like honestly, I get so mad. SO, MAD!!

"I have nothing."

Am I nothing?

"I'm unsuccessful."

Why can't I achieve it?

Knock! Knock!

"Isaac, you good? I'm telling you, don't have to take Von seriously. He's always like that." Amara kept me calm for 15 minutes.

Why am I so mad? I'm not an artist, so this shouldn't be personal; but I can tell he meant that to be disrespectful. There is no other way. I know people! People don't just do that out of respect.

I love music! I take pride in what I love. That feeling of belittlement is too common recently.

Pondering about fixing my life.

No.

I got to remake it! These thoughts are overwhelming. I need something to keep me going because at this point, I can end up a bum if I don't take my life seriously. "UHH!" Scratching my scalp and neck because the anxiety isn't just mental.

It's more than anxiety, at this point I'm frustrated.

Opening the door makes debris fall. The hole I added to the wall reflects my anger. "It's whatever, but he shouldn't be talking like that because if I hit him, then I'd be in the wrong."

"Stop talking like that! You don't need to hit him. Trust me! I gotchu!" Amara's reassurance isn't common. She's been reasonable and chill since I've met her. You'd think she needs me for something.

"He a bitch."

"Isaac, I'm telling you to chill. Haha! Why are you so damn stubborn?" I'm stubborn? Stubborn.

Hmm. "..." There's a million things I want to say to Amara, yet each sentence could start an argument. I'm stuck in this box! Maybe if I think outside it, that's how I can start serenity.

I shake my head to clear my thoughts. I did say I should remake my identity! "You right. I might be a little stubborn."

"Hahaha!! Mhm." When Amara laughs, my space gets mixed with hers.

Now Raven's gone I got to learn that not every action from an act of belittlement and manipulation. Seeing Raven seemed like a bad decision before, but now it's necessary to burn that bridge.

"Amara what'd you like about my freestyle?" She was the only saying it was good. Jace never gave his opinion, but she and Theo had a clash of interests when it came to me.

"Mmm. It was smooth! Like your flow perfectly matched that beat." Where did this wave of admiration come from? "I love that beat Jace made, but I could never find something to do with it!!" The beat had Alternative Rock and Trap blend, I noticed that it's different from beats that Zee uses, but I didn't hesitate to try something different. "Your voice blended well, and your vibe was mellow, yet upbeat! I don't know." She really paid attention! "It was just different, but that's what made it good! I can understand why Von didn't like it, but he was being a hater. You can work a lot around that sound!"