Nevermind

Shameless🌑

"Fuck you mean!? Zee stop playing with me. You know ion like when you keep bringing this shit up!" for the past four months Raven and I've been arguing. Zee hasn't trusted anything Raven's did since we started college. 

Deep down, I know I can't blame him. She's been so distant since we graduated high school.

"I'm trying to tell you the truth! Stop being a dumbass!"

She'll be happy then she'll be mad at me. It's a painful cycle that constantly makes me wonder when she stopped loving me.

Raven is supposed to be at a job interview. She got mad whenever I asked about it and always flipped it on me. Saying I'm insecure for worrying about where the job is after she turned off her location. Basically, checking on her like a normal boyfriend!

I had to let her go because I can't keep arguing. The more we argue my heart aches, my throat gets strained, and my head starts pounding.

Life's stressful.

She's toxic to my heart. Zee constantly complaining about her just spikes my anxiety.

I feel horrible, for I'd always take Raven's side no matter what. Zee was always right!  Deep down I knew something was wrong with my relationship. More than just arguing.

This bong stays close to me now.

Zee's a rapper, and he allowed me VIP access into  the club he's performing in later that night. From other people Zee was confident on his reason for inviting. "Raven is gon be with a whole other nigga tonight. I'LL MERCH IT TOO!! Fam I want you to see my performance, but I'm letting you know because my dawg will take a picture when he sees her doing what we know she gon do fam."

I wanted Zee to be wrong. Instead of having him take a picture...I decided to go myself.

I'm 19 and Zee is 24. Zee being at the club is normal for people his age. 

I think. 

I can never see me in that type of environment. Being around people is honestly draining. 

Hanging with Zee made it easy to sneak past the bouncers. "Ouuu my cousin got motion!!" Unsearched and Untouchable, Zee and his crew enter the club with energy!

"Of course! Nigga ISH ME!! Imma get you right fam, and don't even worry bout paying me back fo anything!"

"HAHAHA! Fo sho Zee!" If Zee's wrong I can't be mad at him. His effort for me is unmatched by anyone these past few months!

Beautiful, brown skinned, curvy women flood the club. Not focused on any of them, but some of them are staring at me.

Interesting. Eyes are scary. Voices harm me. Here though. I can chill here.

Vibes are surprisingly good! Zee knows clubs or parties aren't my vibe, so he tries his hardest to make me have fun. Whether he's right or wrong Zee was always checking on me.

Liquor and weed got my mind swerving in Zee's VIP section.

Girls are twerking and dancing. Music sounded so ethereal, I could've died happy hearing it. Raven wasn't even on my mind!

Blinding lights. Liquor got pound in my seat the exotic performer stares at me. I chuckled nervously then my arm felt a light shove.

"Yoo! Go in there she's looking right at you." I turned to my left mesmerized.

She's not Raven, but damn!

"Naw I'm good, I gotta girl." Maintaining eye contact is hard with her. Those hazel eyes!

"Where she at?"

"Not here! She hates me. Don't know where she is." I really don't know if she's lying or really busy, but saying that felt so freeing!