If Wednesday was going to go out, she was going to go out with a bang. Quite literally. She knew what was coming. Somehow she just knew. She would be attending Nevermore Academy. She didn't have to like it, but it was going to happen. The spirits of the house had made that abundantly clear. She would also never let her parents off so easy. Well, honestly Wednesday couldn't believe Nevermore hadn't come up as the most viable option before now. Wednesday had been saying no to attending Nevermore since middle school. So, she would put up a fake fight even if she did know it was pointless. And the Oscar goes to...
Not the point.Wednesday smirked to herself. In what would have been another uneventful day she had found something to occupy her time. In the suffocating boredom that followed her automatic writing session that morning Wednesday had decided to set a little surprise near the gate for her brother who still had to attend school, or their newest mail carrier. Whichever came first. It was just a small 'bomb' if you will. Not a big deal. It would give off a minimal explosion with no shrapnel. Wednesday had snuck down to Uncle Fester's room and borrowed what she needed. Just a smidge of C4, a nitroglycerin cap, and a pressure plate. Easy. It was meant to maim not kill. For now. Consider it a warning shot. Simple. Easy. BOOM.
Why the mail carrier though? Why not. Years ago, before the addition of the beautiful gothic wrought iron gate that surrounds the manor now, 'brave' local teenagers would drive the twisted gravel road that led to the house to simply ring the doorbell and run away hoping to get a glimpse of Lurch, or perhaps one of the other inhabitants. They would also destroy the family's mailbox that sat a mere few dozen yards away from the main home itself or to cover their dwelling in eggs or toilet tissue while they were at it. It seemed like a waste. Poor Lurch would then have to clean it up.
Small 'pranks' that carried over from when Gomez and Fester were younger and still had an impact on the family. When Wednesday was around two or three years old the current incarnation of the family living in the home installed the gate and stopped replacing the mailbox. Most only survived anywhere from a couple of days to a few weeks at most anyway. Thus, the mail carrier would have to bring their mail through the gate to the door. That left them vulnerable. At first the postal service had refused so every couple of days Lurch would drive into town to procure their parcels then drive home. His presence began to unnerve most people so they asked him to stop. The family and the city were in a tense standoff.
Then one brave carrier took up the mantle and answered the call to duty. They would deliver the mail to The Addams Family. They set the standard. The bar was high. They became a living legend. That particular carrier held the position the longest to date. Eventually they retired and moved to Boca. Before parting ways for good a brief exchange of words took place. "I'll see you in hell Addams." The carrier said with a grin. "I look forward to it." Wednesday replied. Since then the position has been a revolving door.
Yes, those that delivered the Addams Family mail would continually risk life and limb to fulfill the oath they took as a United States Postal worker. Wednesday personally took pride in the fact that she was a true bane of their existence. Since the day their first carrier left she alone was able to get rid of thirteen mail persons over the years. She kept a scrapbook. She had such fond memories.
Wednesday had been pacing in anticipation but soon sat. She glanced at the clock on her wall. The mail was late. As soon as her butt hit the chair she zoned out. Something she did often when bored. Her creative mind would take over from time to time trapping her in a daydream like state. She could see pictures clearly in her mind. Often she would lose track of time forgetting to eat or follow her routines.
This time she got caught completely unawares in her mental musings and reminiscing about carriers past. Suddenly she was ripped from her revery. The doorbell rang clearly and loudly rousing Wednesday from her absent state. The doorbell rang? Oh! The doorbell rang. She jumped up from her chair moving quickly to her window. There was no way she wouldn't have heard the explosion if the gate had been opened. Yet, the mail carrier stood below her on their doorstep holding a bundle of envelopes and a package in their grubby, shaking hands. They were new. Oh and this one was clever. They would be a challenge. Challenge accepted. Wednesday smirked to herself. May their god have mercy on their soul. Fore she certainly would not.
Wednesday watched as the mail carrier cautiously looked up clearly feeling they were being watched. Which they obviously were, like a spider watched the fly right before they devoured it. Their eyes met. The wide almost scared eyes of the mail carrier and the cold calculated eyes of one Wednesday Friday Addams. Wednesday slowly inclined her head nodding to them as a sign of temporary respect. The carrier visibly gulped before handing their cargo over to Lurch. The tall man groaned and the wary worker carefully made their way back to their vehicle managing to look back only once. Wednesday chuckled dryly. She could feel Lurch's eye roll all the way up in her room. She chuckled again.
Wednesday stood with her arms folded behind her back and glared as she watched the gate grind open for the mail truck and then close behind it. She braced herself for the boom that never came. There was no explosion. She sighed. How disappointing. Where had she gone wrong? Clearly this postal champion was favored by the gods. The worker looked back once more towards the house locking eyes with its young mistress yet again. Wednesday's glare became pointed. She scowled. She would definitely have to step up her game. She wouldn't want this one to get too comfortable.
Wednesday stood glumly watching the mail truck fade from sight around a bend. Dead man's curve to be exact. Her arms now folded over her chest. A small smirk once again grew and graced her lips as she now watched a large yellow school bus come into view. The day could still be saved. Hazzah!!! Wednesday laid back onto her bed with her arms at her sides. She closed her eyes and she waited. This kind of waiting she didn't mind so much. The anticipation was spine tingling. She felt it build at the base of her lower back. It was exhilarating.
The bus pulled up in front of the gate. The breaks squealed and the gravel crunched as it came to a stop. The smell of diesel wafted through Wednesday's open window and invaded her nostrils. The door squeaked open. Wednesday could hear the taunts. "Bye bye Pigsley." "See you later fat ass." "Smell ya later tons of fun." "Have fun with your creepy family weirdo." "Hey! Pigsley, tell your sister I think she's hot...I don't care what she's into...I have a...you know...for her...you're mom's pretty hot too if she wants to join." Pugsley laughed nervously then she could hear his pathetic attempts at retorts. "Haha, very funny guys." "Oh I will." "Hey I do not smell...we'll ok maybe a little bit...but..." "Don't you ever talk about Wednesday like that!" He growled. A chorus of "ooooooooo's" followed. Then she could hear Pugsley stomp off the bus. There was a lot of laughter and of course the driver did nothing. Probably under the guise of kids will be kids like it was a perfectly logical excuse. She already had their names and addresses committed to memory. If she could ditch the damn ankle monitor someone was going to die this time. If she could guarantee Pugsley wouldn't be on the bus she would sneak in and cut the power steering and the break lines. Jail would be worth it. She wished Pugsley would just fight back. Even if he got hurt. Wednesday wished he would just do something. Anything. Even if that thing was to shut down and shut it all out like she had. He was too gentle. Too soft. Too kind. Even to people that didn't deserve it. He will never survive on her own without her. He won't last another month. She'll be coming back from Nevermore for his funeral. She will suggest that her parents allow Lurch to drive him. They will probably refuse. They've always steadfastedly held on to the belief that taking the bus was a part of the normal experience. They were just as guilty as the bullies if you asked her.
Yes, poor Pugsley. He was overall a good kid. He did his schoolwork, and helped others when he could. He kept his head down, and unlike Wednesday he didn't make waves. He didn't exactly deserve this. Both the bullying or the bomb.Wednesday almost felt bad for what was about to happen. If the bomb went off, it went off. If not, not. She quickly squashed those intrusive thoughts. A wicked grin spread across Wednesday's face. Of course he deserved it. It was her obligation, nay her duty as the older sibling to both torment and protect her younger brother. She wasn't joking when she told the swim team that she was the only allowed to torture Pugsley. It was Addams Family tradition. Just like the only one allowed to annoy her and live was Pugsley.
Then it happened. It was like everything had been in slow motion then sped up again. The pus pulled away. The gate opened slowly. Wednesday closed her eyes. She held her breath. BOOM!!! It was music to her ears. The explosion shook the entire manor. Car alarms in the area began to sound. The windows in the family hearse shattered. It was impressive. Wednesday actually smiled to herself. Who are we kidding? She grinned from ear to ear. Her eyes flew open and lit up with excitement and satisfaction. She had set the bomb correctly after all. The fireball and crater it left proved it. Wednesday sighed with relief. She could finally relax.
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As The Woe Turns: A World Before Woe
FanfictionThis book and my last are not really connected. It's a bit different. It's my take on the characters. Wenclair story focusing mostly on Wednesday and Enid individually right up until they meet. This is my lead in to season one. It will have the usu...