Glass Tears

Prologue

Anonymous

I feel like I'm going to puke. I have to watch him fall in love with that girl then watch him fall out of love with her. I can't stand her long hair, her brown eyes, the way she looks at him.

I fell in love with him first, I know him better than she knows him, than maybe anyone knows him. I can name the exact shade that his eyes are and what used to make him smile. I hate that he can't remember. That he might never remember.

I feel the stain of tears on my face that I didn't realize were falling in the first place. I have to remind myself that he'd never love me anyways, I'm never going to be on his matchmaking list, I'll never even see him again. It's cruel of them to force me to watch the one I fell in love with during my childhood living his life with no knowledge of me.

I remember when me and El would go over to his house all the time to hang out with him and his sister. We'd be out in the sun and on the grass all day pretending we had manifested and mastered telepathy. We'd jump from low hanging branches on trees and get covered in dirt and mud.

I remember he would pretend to be looking into my thoughts and I'd just stare at his scrunched face as he fake concentrated like his dad would. The wind would blow strands of his hair across his face and I'd think about what it would feel like to brush them to the side and hold his dirt covered hands in mine.

But then we were deemed failed experiments. That's when everything started crumbling. There was only one thing that went wrong but that was enough for the Black Swan. They discarded El and I like we were broken machinery, our adopted parents were disgusted by us, and we were left alone, hated by all elves. That's when El and I ran away and when they found us.

So instead of growing up in that glittering world, we grew up here. A place where we trained until we felt like we'd die, where they taught us to tolerate pain, how to expertly use throwing stars towards an enemy, and how to use our emotions as fuel. It's where El and I made friends that wouldn't abandon us.

But I still think of that boy, the one who I feel like I know the best. And as I'm forced to sit in this chair, watching his life on a small screen held in front of me, I force the emotions I'm feeling deep down in the pit of my stomach where I can't reach it.

I force myself to be strong and remind myself that this will only make me a stronger fighter. That someday we'll be stronger than the council and the Neverseen. Stronger than all of the stupid elves who can't handle any ounce of pain and aren't willing to.

But most of all, I continue to think about Fitz.