The sin of gluttony

opening up

* Chizuki's pov *

Cael took a deep breath, seemingly to steady himself. 

I'll have to follow up on a book about a situation such as this. It feels like self-imposed torture because it truly seems that he is unable to simply express his thoughts.

''Look,'' Cael said trying to endure this situation and gather his thoughts.

 I snuggled up on his shoulder, hoping to offer support or solace, but instead, I sensed him tense up. Realizing I may have overstepped, I withdrew and stared at the ground, hoping to give him space.  I figured that this might help.

''I'm sorry, I think no contact may help you,'' I said awaiting his reaction.

''Well I offer you my gratitude, however, I think your chipper attitude eases my troubles,'' He said it all in one breath, but before I could add, he quickly interjected, ''But I do have to add that, I think it would be easier for me to talk if you averted my gaze.''

''I fully understand, and I'm sorry this is probably a big burden to bear, and I would also understand if we stopped here and,'' I stammered, flustered, then I took a deep breath and gathered myself, ''what I meant to say was that you do not have to force yourself, there's truly no need to bother yourself over my childish desires,'' I said giving him my biggest, warmest, sincere smile, hoping that it would convey my goodwill.

''Listen, I'll be frank, this whole situation has been overwhelming,-''

'' I know-''

''No, sweetheart I'm talking, this doesn't happen often so I'm assuming that you would be interested in hearing me speak.''

He put his hand on my knee, then quickly withdrew it.  I took his hand in mine, then he decided to position his hand back onto my thigh and seemingly fixed his position there. I have to say that it made me feel better, I never would've guessed how much physical contact meant to me, but I think that I would soon learn how much it could account to me. And perhaps I could even help Cael find out the effect it can have.

''Yes, of course, go ahead.'' I hoped that he wouldn't find me imprudent after all of the interruptions.

''I'll start over, this evening has been eventful for the both of us.'' He looked into my eyes and quickly averted his gaze again.

''No matter how this situation came to be, whether it is fortunate or unfortunate, I would consider that we both have gone through many stages of emotions and honestly, it has been overwhelming in more ways than one. Also, I feel the need to confess that I'm rather envious of you being able to express your emotions and easily as of today. I kind of admired that about you, but now I'm just rambling on. Excuse me of that.''

''No, no, I wanted to talk just because I wanted to know more about you. Don't fret, please, anything but that!''

''This is taking too much of your energy, we really should stop. Plus I don't know if you have noticed, but I can even pick up small things about a person and interpret it in a way that turns out true most of the time,'' I added still staring down at the ground, ''but I truly hope that someday we would be able to talk without complications.''

He seemed in disbelief. God, I must have truly left him dazed, no, speechless, no maybe rather astounded? 

''Don't ponder that much, you're making me feel embarrassed.'' After a moment of silence, said Cael. He was covering his face with his hand again.

''Well, that isn't good.''

''What isn't?''

''I meant how you always hide away from me''

''I am sitting right beside you, whatever could you mean?

''Just now you were covering your face, not wanting to show yourself to me''

''Do you pay attention to everything?''

''Are you only now realizing? Why did you think that I overreacted when I heard I had to be wed to a stranger whom I knew nothing of? Just because I wanted to make my own decisions like some child? No, it's more about the fact that I wouldn't know anything about him. Anything and everything is very important to me.''

''Now I do realize how unfair it must seem that I know so much about you. For example your mannerisms, your attitude, even your pet who also happens to be waiting for you to let him in.'''

* Cael's pov *

She jumped out of bed and almost tripped whilst making her way over to the balcony.

''Sorry, sorry, sorry I didn't mean to keep you waiting,'' She said at such a speed that it was almost impossible to decipher what she was saying, ''you know that I love you, right?''

''Sorry for ruining the moment, but shouldn't you be saying that to me?''

''Don't get smart with me mister!''

I snickered, where else could I be able to witness such sights? I'm guessing that nowhere.

She opened the door to let the little lark in. And then I realized that I also wanted to ask questions to know more about her. What? Since when had she infiltrated my mind? 

My mind went blank the moment I saw that the princess ... took ... the filthy animal in her..

''What do you think you're doing!?''

''What? I don't understand why you're reacting this way.'' She turned around to look at me with a bewildered expression on her face, ''Are you genuinely jealous of the fact that I'm holding this absolutely ador-'' 

''Don't!''

She had picked up the little lark and now was rubbing her face against it. That creature was being caressed by the-.

I want to vomit.

''What? Oh my god, do you want to hold him too? Oh, he has stolen your heart too, I knew it! No one could resist this cutie!'' She extended her hands with the bird still in them to give the bird to me.

''No, anything but that.''

''Why?''

Trying to regain my composure, I put on a tough face. ''It's obvious, isn't it?'' continuing my thought I said, ''I never touch a woman before talking to her first.''

''Well, that proves to be true, I have to give it to you.''

She carried the bird and put it on her pillow. She put it  in a place where she sleeps. A place where she rests her head.

''I'm starting to think that  you are too peculiar.''

''And why is that so?''

''You're taking care of a little bird.''

''The bird will be sleeping with us.''

''You are not letting that thing into your bed!''

''As you said, this is my bed, and I'll do whatever I please.''

I admitted my defeat and just lied down.

''Fine, the lark won't sleep here, but only because of your puppy eyes.''

My what? My puppy eyes? She manages to leave me flustered way too much.  God, this woman. She truly keeps me guessing.