For April fools day I remade this to look like a bad boy story. I changed all the tags and everything.
This was the blurb,
Albania (Ally) Clark has always been on the shy side. I mean, what's the point in having friends when they'll inevitably find out you're mother is a drug addict forcing you to strip secretly under the alias Lola Johnston to feed her habit? To deal with the stress of her situation she's taken up journaling because heroine was the softest drug in the house. But when she loses her journal at a party her best friend Erica, (the fun quirky slut who's a very loyal friend) convinced her to go to, it falls into the hands of the small town heart throb Tristen Blake. How will she regain her journal from a guy who has no clue she exists without revealing her secret? Thank God she signed everything Lola instead of Albania.
This was the cover.
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Heartbreakingly, no one said anything. This is the chapter I posted to fool people.
"Get up you worthless piece of trash I completely regret giving birth to!" Mom shouted, storming into my room.
I choked and held back tears as I scurried out of my bed, she woke me like this ever morning, "but mother, I'm tired, I've been working several unorthodox jobs in-between school because legally I can only work a few hours at each since I'm so young, to keep this family, by that I mean you me and that other guy afloat."
"I care not for your wellbeing, I hate you for no apparent reason. You get in my way despite only coming home to sleep and are ugly!"
I burst out sobbing and she laughs walking away.
I run to the mirror and peek at my ugliness. My orbs are large and purple, my skin, absurdly pale, but in a hot way, my face is thin, with soft features. She was right! I was ugly despite having an almost uncanny resemblance to several woman the world community agrees are stunningly beautiful.
When I finished crying and get dressed, I wear a dress with a short skirt because I grew too tall for it. It's not that I'm tall, because I'm not, I'm short, almost concerning so. I let out a sigh, half my butt is falling out, showing my sexy lace thong, and lack of financial awareness. But it'll have to do, pants are not an option. I hurry out the door afraid to be late for my first day of class in the new school I'm going to.
I guess I should introduce myself. My name's Albania, but my friends, well friend, Erica, calls me Ally because she says it's an abomination.
My Mom, your typical crackhead named me while high. She said she had a vision where an angry squirrel threatened to rip her throat out if she didn't name me Albania.
My dad isn't really in the picture. Mom doesn't even remember who he is. So I just tell people he died in the war and Mom's never at the parent teachers conferences because she's still dealing with the grief. Thankfully most kids don't pay enough attention in class to know which wars happened when. So when they ask I just tell them Vietnam and we stand in solemn silence for a few moments before they tell me they're sorry, walk away and hopefully never ask again.
Mom has a new guy every week, and since I strip and work at a restaurant, while cleaning houses on the side, I barely ever know who I'm going to walk in on peeing in the living room.
I don't sleep most nights and basically live off the slight poisoning of caffeine. Studying is not an option, thankfully I just never forget anything I'm told, so I get A's on all my tests.
This is an April fools joke. This is actually a book of Bat boy lemons I rebranded. You've been pranked.
