I wrote these at like fourteen. Do with that what you will.🤦
Most the first ones are terrible. The latest ones were written within this year. Because even after ending the book, I never truly stop.
Enjoy???🤷
I'm sure at least once while you read my stories your mind wandered to the question of, what kinda person would do this? What kind of person could? So here I am to finally reveal to you the face behind your anguish. Just don't say I didn't warn you when you fall hopelessly in love with me after finding I'm not only hilarious but gorgeous too. I thought about running for Miss America as a joke but then decided that would be taking the joke too far. Ruining the dreams of a bunch of girls who give their all to this competition only for a joke? Not even I'm that cruel. So you can add extremely kind to that list of reasons you've fallen for me. I know your dying to see my face after all the hype, so here it is.
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Competitive lemons for those who want them.
In the end, I've decided against revealing my face. I had it up at one point, but it gave me a bunch of anxiety. So, does this not look like the chin, hairline, and singular eyebrow, of someone who would do this? You couldn't handle my beauty. 💅
As heartbreaking as this might be to hear I have been taken for about a month now. My dad can make a pretty awesome barbie jeep out of an old washing machine though he doesn't know how to crimp the sharp edges, so he does have a very peculiar set of skills. I just have my doubts about how useful they will prove to be in the pursuit of getting me back.
So this is the end, kinda sad honestly, now I need to go back to not having friends. Oh wait, I have the police now. It's nice to be wanted.
Anyway, if you're going to miss my twisted sense of humor you can look at my other book, where I just post random humorous writings, or follow me and read my message board updates. I rarely ever just get to the point and say I was in an accident and lost my leg. First I usually tell a long and pointless story before getting to the point of how I lost my legs. Or I might forget to tell you about my limbs and just say in the replies, "so I only have one arm now. My options for who to be for Halloween have just got really limited."
But I wouldn't say that up there because I don't celebrate Halloween.
Also, I still have all six of my limbs.
Please leave a comment entailing your experience. I'm thinking about putting some reader's comments about the story in the description. You can make them honest, misleading or warnings.
Also in loving memory of Ricky who got out of the house and ran away.
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Full disclosure, if I do end up updating after this, I will be moving it behind this update and gaslighting you all.
