Introverts

At Least He's Pretty

T R O Y E
I can hear my mother's voice calling up to me for dinner. But I don't reply, and am definitely not hungry. After the day I had, I'd most likely puke it up. This school is weird, and not in a good way.

I can easily tell who runs it, in terms of stereotypes. One guy, by the name Tyler Oakley is practically a god in that place. Then you had his two best friends, Dan and Joe. It isn't a normal looking group of jockeys either. Actually, they aren't jocks at all.

Tyler has white hair that's always styled into a perfect quiff, is a tad bit shorter than everyone else, and has a good sense of style. Dan has brown hair that's always swept into a side fringe, is taller than even me, and is a type of pretty Mrs. Burr would be proud of. Joe has brown hair that's in a curly quiff, is as short as Tyler, and also has pretty amazing style. Not your typical popular crowd if I say so myself.

It's weird because they're even more popular than the jocks. I'll have to find out why, in a non attention drawing way. I also saw Connor again at lunch. It was weird, he was hanging out with a group of kids who really like to use their hands when they talk. His friends were fairly cute too. My favorite having to be this really perky blonde. I could hear his laugh across the cafeteria and it was definitely cute. But not as cute as Connor, I wonder what his laugh sounds like...

"Troye Sivan Mellet! Don't make me come up there and get you!" I groan. Stumbling down the stairs I think of excuses I can give on not eating.

"Mom, I'm not hungry." I whine, she shoots me a glare.

"Your eating."

"But I'm going to throw up if I do!" She turns back to me and gives me a questioning look, that quickly turns into a blank stare.

"If you puke on my floor you're cleaning it up." I groan again, but sit this time. I see Sage and Tyde sitting in there usual chairs, but Steele is nowhere to be found.

"Where's Steele?" I ask.

"He's playing football with some old friends." I just roll my eyes at my brothers inability to sit still for twenty minutes. "You should go next time." My father speaks again. I laugh at this.

"That's physically impossible." I try to ignore his disappointed look. All my siblings are athletic. Even beauty guru Sage. So I can't help but feel like a let down when I stay inside on my laptop instead of going out for a round of frisbee. They stopped trying to force me when I hit 15, realizing I was a lost cause.

"I met this really cute guy." Sage speaks, earning everyone's attention.

"Oh?" My dad questions.

"Ya, he's deaf actually. Super sweet." My mom does a little 'ah' as she takes her place at the table.

"Have you met anyone Troye?" She asks. I shake my head, earning a sigh. "You need to get out there, you can't be alone forever."

"I'm not alone. I have Kayla, and my internet friends." She just rolls her eyes at this.

"No Troye. I mean people you can hang out with on a regular basis."

"Why? I'm perfectly fine with being alone. It's comforting." No one talks after this, things get uncomfortable after a while and I finish my food quickly. "Excuse me." I say, bringing my dishes to the sink.

Why is me wanting to be alone such a big deal? I mean, who made a rule against wanting independence? Especially when you can easily hear all the horrible things people think on an everyday basis. I just want to be happy, is that too much to ask for?

Oh, but I guess it is. Being in my state of mind, I couldn't risk being affectionate to the people around me. So I slowly built up walls and set boundaries for myself, when all I want is someone to hold. But I can't, any type of contact is not only intrusive, but scares the living shit out of me.