Introverts

Lost Lovers

C O N N O R
I don't call Caspar. The door slams roughly behind me and I ignore the sound of my mothers feet against tile and head towards the only place I really want to be; Troye's house. I know he's not there, and that it's technically not even his, but that doesn't matter. I just need to be somewhere familiar, somewhere were I felt safe even if it was for just one day. Once i'm in front of the pink structure I try the front door; locked. I knew it would be, so I move to plan B. I grab the closest rock and chuck it through the window. Ignoring the shattering sound I crawl through the square hole. Slowly, I make my way up the staircase. The stinging in my cheek dies down a bit instead moving to my hand were the glass has cut me in a few places.

I lay in the center of his room, looking up at the bare walls. Tiny holes cover the plaster where push pins have previously been and I can see where his posters used to be, almost like there still here. Transparent, the lingering essence of a boy I used hold. I wonder if he's thinking of me. But why would he be? I can almost see him walking the streets of Perth, reuniting himself with lost friends...lost lovers. I shudder at the thought. It's a believable one though, I mean Troye is beyond good looking. He could have anyone he wants, I'm lucky enough to of had him for the few weeks I did.

I was lucky enough to run my fingers threw his hair, hair that falls nothing short of silk. Hair that even as my fingers are separating it, the strands curl and wrap themselves around my fingers like they belong there. I like to believe that they did.

I was lucky enough to of been able to wrap my arms around his slender form, so slender that I could feel his heart beat in his hip along with the bone there. He was always so self-conscious about his lankiness, but I loved it. It was apart of him, something that makes him all the more beautiful in the eyes of someone who has plenty of imperfections.

And I sure as hell was lucky enough to look into those big eyes of his. Eyes that could hold so many different emotions and portray them so beautifully. Orbs that hold jealousy, orbs that hold admiration, orbs that hold light. Emotion pooled from those baby blue oceans, warping all of his features and soaking into his lips.

Oh, his lips. Like something out of a story book these lips could make anyone do anything. Soft light touches can make a man go wild, passionate ones can hook someone like the worst of drugs. The worst part? He doesn't even know he's doing it. There's something blocking his full potential, a barrier of self doubt, a voice in the back of his head telling him he's not worth it. Maybe it's the other voices, the ones that never go away when around people.

All of the things that make up Troye, from his hair to his body to his eyes to his lips, and he's still burdened in the worst of ways. He's utterly alone, sad, internally scared because of a gift he was forced to carry. Like a game of chess, Troye goes only in places his condition will allow and that limits him.

Even though Troye is over the top gorgeous and amazing, there's still something better. I'm not self centered or anything but, the only thing better than Troye is Troye and I together.

The way our bodies seem to aline perfectly, like a puzzle every nook and cranny of our beings seem to mold together like they were supposed to be that way. Our eyes, electric colors clash together in a war fighting for dominance. Our hands, his longer feminine ones and my short pudgy ones hold each other so carelessly. Skin on skin contact, fireworks going off to the sound of Troye's voice. Lips on lips, his full ones against my thin ones, tongue battling tongue. Everything between Troye and I was a war, one full of passion and secrecy that is only spoken about through rough kisses and the sighs of one another.

I miss him. Saying 'was' and 'did' only make the distant more prominent. He's gone. All of the late night phone calls, the brushes of hand, the innocent touches are all memories of the past. I can't breathe, tears stain my cheeks bringing back the burning my dad left. I feel my phone buzz in my pocket and I rush to get, hoping for my moms name to pop up. Instead I'm greeted with an unknown number.

"H-hello?" I answer, sniffling.

"Connor?" A feminine voice asks, one that also shows signs of crying.

"Yes who's this?" A sigh of relief on the other line.

"Hi, Connor, it's Laurelle Troye's mum." My heart begins to pick up and a smile spreads across my face.

"Oh, hi! How have you been? How is everyone?" What are the chances, your boyfriend moves away and his mom calls you to say hi. This must mean progress.

"Not so good actually, I'm calling with some bad news." She sounds sorry, obviously hearing my excited and relieved tone. So, no progress than. But what could be so bad that she'd have to call me? My heart sinks into my stomach. Troye.

"What is it?" I push.

"Troye's in the hospital." I gasp loudly, my hand flying up to cover my mouth. "When we got here I-i sent him to get groceries. On his way he was mugged in an alley." Tears are falling and all my mind can see is a picture of Troye laying on the ground bruised and bloody.

"Oh my god is he okay?" I ask and she sniffles.

"Yeah, the doctors say that he had some bleeding and a concussion but that he'll make it." I let a breath go that I wasn't aware I was holding and let my body relax. Thank God. "But Connor,"

"Yeah?"

"I want you to be here when he wakes up." My face flushes at her words and despite how much I want to I know I can't.

"I would be honored, but I can't. You see my dad has kicked me out and I have no money." She laughs as much as mother can laugh while her son is unconscious before speaking.

"I'll pay Connor, and you can stay here with us for awhile. Your basically family anyway." Silence.

"No...freaking...way!" I jump up off the ground and look around excitedly.

"So is that a yes?"

"Yes yes yes a million times yes! Do I need to pack my stuff now?" She laughs at my urgency.

"Yes, but only a small bag, something you can carry on the plane with you."

"Okay, when do I leave?"

"Tomorrow morning at 7." I take a deep breathe at let it out slowly. "I'll see you soon." I whisper a small okay and she hangs up.

I shouldn't be happy. I really really shouldn't be, I mean Troye's In the hospital for gods sake and here I am, smiling like an idiot. But I'm going to see him again, I'm going to get my chance to apologize for being a jerk and over reacting. This may be a sad and desperate chance but I'll take it.

Maybe the world isn't so bad after all.
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A/N
One, maybe two chapters left if I'm feeling real ZAZZED. Oh man I'm so excited *jumps up and down*

Oh, and a big thank you to anyone and everyone who's commented and voted so far, I've had an amazing amount of support and I really appreciate it.

Please vote, comment, add to reading lists and share with your lovers! Even if there a tiny bit lost.