ONE RULE • THE WALKING DEAD

chapter nineteen - close call

It only took less than an hour for the sun to break the horizon.

I'd sent Rick away; it was too hard to be around each other while keeping distance. Between the guilt I felt about Lori's possible secret and the goddamn urge to just jump his bones, I was a mess.

Thankfully, he didn't seem upset with me. He was more confused than anything. But the trust in his eyes remained, which fucking tore me up inside, and when I told him to get some rest, he'd only done so because I guess the look in my eyes must've made him realize this was serious business.

I made it a point not to seek him or Lori or even Carl. I couldn't face seeing the truth in their expressions. If she was pregnant and if Rick knew, it would be written all over their faces.

"I'm going to take a nap," I told Glenn as I practically crawled over him to my side of the tent.

"Ow," he mumbled as I accidentally stepped on his finger.

I was too exhausted to even register it. As soon as my head hit the pillow, my eyes felt permanently glued shut. All the stress from the last 48 hours hit me like a train. "Wake me up in an hour," I slurred before it was lights out.

I'd risen from my deep slumber what I surmised was much longer than an hour later.

"Goddamnit, Glenn," I cursed in irritation.

I squinted from the brightness that poured in through the cracks of our tent which was completely empty and Glenn-less, his side a tussled mess of blankets. Tucked in the corner was a plate covered by another paper plate and held together by a toothpick stabbed through the middle. Upon further inspection, I could see a message written in bold sharpie scribbled across the top plate—

'FOR YOU BITCH :)'

How kind. I rolled my eyes and peeled the top plate off, indulging in our usual breakfast of eggs and spam, albeit cold but cold food was better than no food.

When I'd finished, I finally decided to rejoin society.

There was a jitteriness in my bones as I suddenly remembered the reason I was so sleep deprived. Everything from last night came flooding back and my cheeks felt unbearably hot even under this godforsaken Georgia sun.

My heart began to race a little and I suddenly felt like a teenager with a crush.

Fuck, I gotta get it together. I reminded myself over and over as I climbed out of my tent and thankfully it's Grimes-family-free.

In fact, there's no one and it struck me as odd immediately until I remember the stupid gun training Shane and Rick had organized and figure everyone has headed out to risks their lives once more.

I glanced over at the Greene house, squinting against the bright sun, trying to catch a glimpse of the porch. It didn't look like there was anyone on it.

I can't stand these motherfuckers. Let's just leave the passed out girl all alone feet away from the barn full of walkers, why don't we?

I take a seat on a log next to our makeshift fire pit, using my knife to carve chunks of wood. I'd made it a habit to start sharpening fallen branches. It was a good distraction when I wasn't out on a run to keep my mind from straying to the feeling of being on death's door.

It'd been weeks but I still couldn't shake off the sensation of complete and utter starvation, the feeling of my bones sliding against each other with every step, the burning in my lungs with the effort it took just to breathe—

"Carl, look!"

It was distant but my sensitive ears caught Sophia's tiny voice trying to keep quiet but failing.