Infinite

Selfish- Part 2

Houston, Texas, in Dr. Wilson's Office, Thursday, September 25th, 2030, at 3:00 pm

Lucas

"Good afternoon, Mr. and Mrs. Clarke." Dr. Wilson smiles at us as he gestures for us to head into his office.

Rachel gives him a less enthusiastic greeting than normal, and she's walking slowly next to me. I see Dr. Wilson adjust the binder in his arms as he watches Rachel.

"Please, take a seat," he says warmly as he follows behind us and closes the door.

I let Rachel sit down first. She moves slowly, and the tie on her blouse gets stretched as she sits on the plush sofa. The dark colors of the room bring out Rachel's delicate features, and her long, curly hair is casting shadows across her face. I haven't seen her wear her hair back in a while. She used to always put clips and hair ties in it to hold her curls back, but she's had it down almost every day since I came back.

"It's good to see both of you again," Dr. Wilson says warmly as he sits across from us in his matching chair. "How have things been going?" he asks us broadly.

I usually let Rachel do most of the talking when we are here, but I have a few things on my mind that I need to get out. I lean forward, putting my elbows on my knees.

"We've had a rough week, to put it lightly," I reply as I glance over at Rachel. She smiles weakly and nods in agreement.

"What do you mean by that?" Dr. Wilson opens up his binder and turns his attention to me.

I take a deep breath, summoning the courage to share.

"There was an incident on Friday at my job," I answer. Dr. Wilson's expression grows more serious. "Cooper and I have been working on a project, and we invited Anne and Rachel to come and watch us test it out."

Dr. Wilson nods, but doesn't start writing anything.

"We needed to blow it up to perform the test." I start rubbing my hands together, remembering the fear that I felt.

Dr. Wilson clears his throat and waits for me to keep going. I look over at Rachel again. I can see that her breathing is starting to speed up. I reach over and put my hand on her knee. She almost jumps at my touch, but quickly relaxes when she makes eye contact with me.

I can't imagine the kind of fear she felt.

"It went according to plan at first. Rachel and Anne were in the viewing bunker, safe," I put emphasis on the last word, as if I'm trying to convince myself that she was safe the whole time. I swallow hard and look out the window, keeping my hand on Rachel's knee.

"We got the all clear that the test was over, so they started to walk over to us in the control room." My voice grows quieter as I speak. I feel so ashamed that I'm having to say this. "But something went wrong, and there was a second explosion, and..." My voice begins to break. I clear my throat a few times, trying to calm myself down.

I need to stay composed for Rachel.

"And they got hurt," I finish quietly.

Dr. Wilson doesn't write anything down as I'm talking, he just listens. When I look up at him, I see that he's watching Rachel. I glance over to her quickly, realizing that I hadn't checked on her since I began sharing. She doesn't look like she's having a panic attack, but I give her knee a squeeze to try and get her attention. She looks down at my hand for a moment before meeting my eyes.

"It's not your fault, Lucas," her tone is firmer than I expected, but I can tell that she really means it. She gives me a small smile and sets her hand on top of mine.