REDAMANCY [h.s. au]

29

"It has made me better, loving you."
- Henry James

⭑Harry⭑

~two weeks later~

You ever have one of those moments when you look around and realize you're living the life that you'd dreamed about for so long?

I'm having one of those moments right now.

And it's nothing grand or extravagant. Might even be considered rather mundane to some people. But when I open my front door, it's like one of those fantasies has been plucked right from my brain and is happening in front of me.

Holland and Ivy are bathed in the blueish glow from Frozen playing in the background, neither of them really paying it any attention. Ivy has situated herself in between Hollands legs, leaning all her weight onto her, as they slowly go through a picture book together, pointing and talking. "And what sound does a cow make?" I hear her ask to which Ivy responds enthusiastically with a loud "Moooo!"

I try not to disturb them, wanting to watch this for however long I can, taking pictures in my mind and trying to memorialize this warm, feathery, lightness that expands through my chest.

Unfortunately, the click of the door alerts them of my presence. Holland whips around, blonde hair swaying as she turns to me with a sweet smile.

"Daddy!" Ivy exclaims, running toward me with wide open arms.

I bend down and let her tackle me, falling over for dramatics that pulls a laugh from both my girls. "Sorry I wasn't able to pick you up from school today, love," I tell her. We had an all-faculty meeting after school ended that dragged on for no other reason than the director loves to talk. About anything and everything. So I arranged for Holland to pick her up and take her back to the house and to hangout until I got home, although I'm sure Holland would have come over at some point anyways.

But it felt special because it was the first time anyone besides me, Gem, or my mum have picked her up. Not even her own mother has done that, mostly because she couldn't be trusted to actually remember to be there on time between her affair with our French neighbor and her inability to do place her family over work duties.

But I trust Holland with the most precious, dear thing to me.

"Holland picked me up! And I showed her the classroom and Miss Franny and my friend, Sasha!" She divulges cheerily.

"Ah! How special," I comment and then bring my attention over to Holland who's got this far-off smile on her face as she watches Ivy and I. "How have you two been? Good, I hope."

"We've been fantastic. We stopped to get a treat after school at that cute bakery across the street. Hope you don't mind," she laughs, "and then we came back here and we both fell asleep on the couch for about 30 minutes until your neighbor started—I don't know, hammering or something, on your conjoined wall. So we put on Frozen and then she insisted I read some books and then you came home."

And then I came home. I know she didn't mean it in that way, but I love the way it sounds coming from her perfect mouth nonetheless.

"Thank you for picking her up and hanging out with her, by the way," I remark earnestly.

She glares at me. "Harry, you don't need to thank me. I love helping you out and I love hanging with Ivy. We have the best time together, don't we?" She asks her.

"We do," she sing-songs as she goes back to playing with some random toys that were left on the ground.

"See," she tells me, as if she needed to convince me.