A is for Alex who just wants to die.
B is for Betty whose brain just got fried.
C is for Cathy who'll never grow up.
D is for Danny who just can't wake up.
E is for Eddie who was shot in the head.
F is for Freddy whose blood has been shed.
G is for Garret who was stabbed with a knife.
H is for Harry who took his own life.
I is for Issac who drank too much gin.
J is for Jack who overdosed again.
K is for Kevin who fell down a well.
L is for Lewis who was sent to Hell.
M is for Maggie whose future went poof.
N is for Ned who jumped off the roof.
O is for Ottis who drowned both his kids.
P is for Patrick who made too many bids.
Q is for Quinn who slit both his wrists.
R is for Roy who killed a man with his fists.
S is for Stan whose plane crashed in flames.
T is for Terry who drowned in his shame.
U is for Umbridge who swallowed some lye.
V is for Valerie who wrongfully lied.
W is for Wallace who got in a wreck.
X is for Xavier who snapped his neck.
Y is for Yvette who hung by the noose.
Z is for Zack who just couldn't choose.
Now you know your ABC's.
Don't you wish you could be free.
