~~~
When I was kissing on my baby
And she put her love down soft and sweet
In the low lamplight I was free
Heaven and hell were words to meWork Song - Hozier
~~~
Staring up at the pentagram sky above you it was like cold water meeting your skin, goosebumps rippling across your flesh. To see the world at such a distance, Heaven in its splendour like a sun in the sky, radiant with holy light, but deadly if you got too close.
How could something so beautiful be so vile like a poisonous butterfly, elegant and yet, a single taste would slaughter you from within.
Laying back on the clay tile roof of Zestial's manor, you could just barely make out the bustle of the city, fully enraptured by your internal conflict of questioning your heritage. It wasn't that you hated the land of the holy, it was gorgeous beyond description, it was the angels that lived there that was the problem. Sera was stoic and deceitful. Michael was strict and ignorant to his cruelty. Emily was the only innocent one, but even she couldn't see beyond the bridge of her nose- not that it was her fault, you were like that once too.
Ouroboros was curled up against your wings, snuggled against the tips of your feathers that were still stained gold with your blood. The serpent had been preening them a moment ago, tugging out the broken or damaged feathers from your limbs so they provided no discomfort. A gentle and caring creature the Devil's soul was, it made you long for the man himself.
His taste still lingered on your lips, no matter how many times you had rubbed at them or stained them with sweets, you couldn't flee the memory of him and it made your heart throb. An ache, unquenchable and self-destructive, had spawned in your chest and it refused to leave- not until you saw him again, which you knew you would.
You would be helping with the battle tomorrow, after all.
Adam already knew you were here and who you were, so it didn't matter anymore if you were caught fighting alongside Lucifer. It would be a declaration of war on Heaven the instant you did and though you didn't want to put Lux in any danger, it was far too late to keep him from it now.
Everything was in such disarray in your mind. You wondered if your thoughts would ever be silent.
You'd be lying if you said you hadn't considered jumping again, allowing the pavement to swallow up the remnants of your worries, but you knew you'd simply regenerate again. There was no end for a deathless being like you, though the thought that there could be brought you some comfort; maybe, if you sacrificed yourself to Heaven, they'd spare Lucifer?
It was far-fetched, but not impossible.
Scoffing, you rolled your eyes, shifting to watch the adorable snake on your wings.
All this tragedy, it made you wonder if you were God's current favourite because to be such a thing is a death sentence or a promise of woe. Look at Job and Abraham, their losses, guilt and manipulation all a test of faith. Look at Lucifer who failed his test... You would fail it too if even given the chance and you just might once Michael finds out you're here.
Even in Hell you couldn't escape who you truly were. Once a Guardian Archangel, always a Guardian Archangel.
You were Meridies, Lux's midday where he shined the brightest, without him, you were nothing. He could afford to lose you, after all, the sun still shone at other times and his radiance would remain. There was no Meridies without Lux, but at the end of it all, Lux was eternal.
—
Preparations for the hotel had been made with haste and everyone knew their positions for when the time came to act tomorrow.
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Innocence Died Screaming (Honey, Ask Me, I Should Know) (Lucifer X Reader)
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