letters to my ex

Re: in this corner of the world

we just don't know if it's the emotion that fucks our judgement.

i actually didn't expect you to read all those mails. i used to consistently write those but i never once ruminated that you would read through them. i just didn't care about that, it was this vague sort of redemption and every time i wrote one i felt an inexplicable high. i usually used to write them in the morning before i started doing my work or before i went to bed. The truth is it's more often than not that i wrote whenever i wanted to. All of it became an unsaid tacit. You know, i don't read back on those because i find it to be hypocritical ( and ironic ). i believe that there are certain thoughts and feelings which are meant to be left where they were left touched. ( But i do re-read yours. Partly because whatever you write has this weird gush of rush and as if you can't get enough of the world. Even when you do talk all knackered, it doesn't sound bland, disgruntled or tasteless. )

i don't have an excuse for not writing a novel. If i said i don't have it in me, you probably won't believe me. i can't write further without decelerating.

Uh and after college plans? well, it has been already laid out for me. Two years down the track, that's by 2023, i would graduate. Then, it's a post-graduation degree in international business management from a foreign University (most probably business schools in UK or Paris), that's plan A and if it doesn't work out then it's gonna be an MBA degree from IIM. Now, all of this is contingent on the GMAT score ( GMAT is graduate management admission test) and IELTS exam. For the GMAT exam, the preparation would commence from i guess this September? and then, after three glorious months of pure torture, i would have my exams this December or January. Meanwhile, i would be done with my second year and in the third year or the final year, the IELTS coaching would kickstart. If all of this goes well, then maybe i would land up in one of those uni's ( hopefully on scholarship, otherwise i would have to work my arse off to pay the loans) . After all of that drudgery, i need to wind up and secure a job?

And that's how kids you secure life and make a bedding for yourself. xD
Honestly, i don't know when i would fallout from this plan.

And now the studies part? It's going on? You've reposed too much faith in me. You know, the first semester results were out exactly on the 18th of June and i got a 9 gpa ( it's out of 10 and every semester we're allowed credit scores). Umm, remember the economics exam, the last one? Okay, obviously you won't remember it. ( that day you had the doctor appointment scheduled? REMEMBER IT NOW?) Anyways, i kinda topped in economics in our college, it's no big deal. lol, but i swear my luck works out sometimes because i didn't really study for any of them. i gave them based on what i learnt in +2. ( the syllabus of the first year is almost the same) So yea not to jinx it, but you might have been sorta lucky.(?) ( ALTHOUGH, I REAFFIRM MY BELIEF, luck is for losers.)

As of now i'm just floating through college? 

Ahaan, the latest thing i threw was the toothpaste, a CD and the soap dispenser, i'm not to be held liable. ( forgot the reason for that outburst?)

last three things:

1. the world's a little too cruel on you and i hate it. If i see it the other way, you might be the only one to pull it off. So, perhaps it's reet? ( pity extended)
2. Urgh, i'm scarred for life watch' those lizards. xD i swear every time i see one my memory scalds with that repulsive image.
3. don't bluff but what you wrote was cohesive asf.
4. Lucky for ya it rained yesterday and i was able to capture a few snapshots. i don't think i did justice to it but bleh whatever.
5. You know, it isn't exactly advisable to share your address with a person unless you don't know theirs. So?
It's Sector-70, mohali. ( Yk, at the periphery of Chandigarh, sharing a border with Punjab.) lol, it was only one celebrity.
6. Being oblivious does suck. Besides missing the remarkable performance of Kane Williamson, you didn't lose out much.
7. lmao, and seriously no subject? And wait, don't write back a long message, i understand it's hard to put it all together.

PS: erm and apologies for extending it way over and for putting you in so much trouble.