~Sequentia~ (Harry Potter Characters x Reader)

Bitterness Unresolved [Gilderoy Lockhart]

Gilderoy Lockhart x Reader

[Theme: Adult]

Pain is... a fickle emotion. Some people are so struck by the concept of pain that it causes them to cease functioning. Others relish in the sensation, adoring how it strikes at their psyche and physical being. Even those who love pain lust for it differently. There are the Death Eaters, who cause pain by inflicting it on others. Then there are the Aurors, who inflict pain on themselves to ensure others do not experience it themselves.

But what for those whose pain is invisible to the world? A pinprick from a sewing needle would go unnoticed. A falling out with your best friend might cause you to momentarily grieve before you inevitably make up. Those pains, when asked 'How are you?' you don't bother to bring up because it would make more trouble than it would be worth.

At the start, the pain I experienced was like no other. I loved and I was loved, or so I thought. My best friend, Melanie, became nothing more than a distant shadow. If I wasn't good enough for her mother's son, then what right would I have to see their daughter, regardless of whether she was considered anything worthwhile?

Melanie, to me, was more than a Squib. While the wizarding world would see her as a mistake, an anomaly that should never be given any right to exist, she was my best friend the entire time I knew her. Due to being ostracised by her mother and the wizarding world, my presence was the one joy she truly had in her life.

I felt the same about spending those summer days with her when I wasn't at Hogwarts. The glow in her eyes whenever I did magic was heartwarming. In a way, perhaps it inspired her to keep going—to make something out of herself. Shortly before I last saw her, she told me she was planning to make a sort of 'Squib Society' where other Squibs could come together and make friends.

But I never got to know what happened... because of the decision of someone else.

Gilderoy Lockhart. The boy I loved for so many years. During our Hogwarts days, we were practically inseparable. So many people thought we were going to be married the moment we graduated. Part of me hoped for that, too. Nowadays, I wonder what he truly thought. He lusted for attention more than anything else. I could ignore when he burned his name onto the Quidditch pitch or gave himself eight hundred Valentine's Day cards. Merlin, I could overlook the countless hours he made me help him practice his signature.

I could never overlook the letter that he sent me when he decided to end it. He had grown somewhat distant, despite everything I did for him. He was constantly travelling the country for some story he was desperate to find, and that didn't stop me from trying to see him when I could.

It wasn't enough. That letter said what it needed to say: that fame was more important than me. If I couldn't have Gilderoy, I'd always have Melanie... until her spiteful mother took her away from me, too.

Losing Gilderoy and Melanie... that was the worst pain I suffered. To this day, I told nobody the reality of the events. Everyone discovered we had split up and because neither of us were in contact with our original friends and colleagues, they couldn't ask the nittering questions to try and make sense of it.

Gilderoy travelled the globe, becoming more famous by the day and winning countless awards. The stabbing in my chest whenever I saw him win another edition of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile made me feel like death until I no longer found the will to care almost a decade later.

With my past behind me, I stood firm and determined as one of the most prolific private tutors known to the wizarding world. My teachers at Hogwarts knew I was destined for something great, and Beauxbatons had to get their hands on me to teach the moment I was free to claim. French never became a part of my arsenal, other than a few key phrases. Thank goodness spells don't change from language to language.