The Beauty in Time

7

೫𝙴𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚊೫

I frown at the looks my friends are giving me. "What?" I slowly coax, half unsure I even want to know what they have to say.

Tory laughs at my expression. "Elle, I love you, but you're kind of an idiot sometimes."

I scrunch my nose. "Rude."

"They have a point." Jamie laughs too, nodding to Tory.

I roll my eyes. "No, they don't." I argue. They might, I don't know. Tory makes some strangely put together points sometimes. It's hard to tell.

Tory smiles sympathetically. "Elle, I hate to break it to you, but you have a date this weekend."

I frown. "Do not." I argue. All I wanted was to tell my friends I'm going to get drinks with my neighbor. That's all. "He said drinks." I reason, shaking my head.

"Drinks means date." Jamie insists. "Drinks means, let's get drunk together then maybe have a one night stand."

I cock my head back at that. I don't think that's how it works for normal people. "Okay, well, we go out to get drinks all the time and we've never had a one night stand." I remind, gesturing between the three of us.

"But that's because we're friends." Tory dismisses, shaking their head at me.

"Matthew and I are friends." I remind. "We're going for drinks this weekend as friends." I decide, dismissing both arguments.

"I say it's a date." Tory stubbornly decides with a short lift and drop of their shoulder.

I slowly start losing my posture in my chair, aware that there's a slight possibility that this is a date. "What if it is?" I ask on a whisper, preserving this secret for the table only.

"Then good for you! You have a date with your neighbor." Jamie grins, lifting her hands above the table for little light claps.

"New Years."

They both groan at me. I'm used to it, so I just nod along. "Oh, come on, Elle." Tory stubbornly tries, unable to accept that some people keep their promises. "Enough with the resolution. It's doing more harm than good, at this point."

"How?"

"Do you even realize the life of happiness you're missing out on?" Jamie urges with a short waving gesture with her hands. "Elle, it's getting in the way of a lot of things."

Recently, it feels like all of our conversations are like this. The reality is, we talk about this every now and then—which is already too much for me. As a result, I think I'm getting more and more defensive about it every time.

I scoff and cross my arms over my chest protectively. "You guys are the ones who told me I wasn't living right. Now that I'm actually trying to fix it, you're going back on what you just said. It isn't fair. Let me live my life, would you? If it's a date, then it's a date and I just have to tell him I'm not doing that right now. I will handle it on my own."

They both watch me silently for a long time. When I start to feel like apologizing, they share short looks. Jamie eventually sighs, giving up there. Tory is right behind her, but can't help this one last question. "What if you like him by the end of the night?" They ask.

Matthew doesn't seem like a bad guy. So far, all we've done is get along pretty great. I've enjoyed his company pretty much every time. So, yeah. Maybe Tory has a point. Maybe I like him more than I thought by the end of the night.

I shake my head at the idea. "If I end up liking him and if he likes me back, then I'll just have to tell him I'm not starting anything." I insist, still confident in myself. I need to do this. At this point, it's not even about proving anything to anyone like it had been in the beginning. This is for me now.