The Beauty in Time

Epilogue

◿𝙼𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚠◸

She asked me if it was insane. "This is insane. Is this insane? I feel like this is insane."

"This is insane." I had confirmed, nodding quickly as I pulled into the parking lot.

She continued to freak the hell out. I couldn't blame her—still can't blame her. I was freaking out too. "Oh, God. Oh, God. Are we actually—Matt. What are we doing?" She'd asked. And the question...Well, now it makes me laugh.

It was insane. I'd do it over and over again, never changing one thing, but it was insane. It was also raining. Like, lightning and thunder and heavy pellets of water falling from the sky, raining. Raining so hard, we got soaked running across the street inside.

We weren't dressed for the occasion at all. For one, the rain caught us off guard, so I was in a thin t-shirt and jeans, and she was in her usual sweater and a pair of shorts. And that's just...not what you want to be wearing on a day like that. But we went out on a whim, so what the hell were we gonna do?

I love her. With every passing day, I somehow love her even more. And on that day—fuck. She was gorgeous. Her hair was wet, sticking to her forehead and her pink cheeks. She was freaking out the entire time, mostly about the implications of what we were doing.

We got married six months ago in the courthouse. I had the rings, but hadn't had a chance to propose. Not properly, anyway. I had asked, like, twenty minutes before we got there. She said yes.

It wasn't the plan, of course. I wanted to take her to her favorite hiking trail. I wanted her to freak the fuck out, but not for a short twenty minutes before we tied the knot, I wanted her to have a few months. Slowly ease her into the idea, slowly plan it together. I wanted her to invite her friends, invite my family, and pick out whatever color flowers she thought would look best together.

I wanted to see her in a beautifully white dress. I wanted the sun out, and I wanted to watch her walk down the aisle.

That didn't happen. We didn't even get the fucking sun part right. I still would not have changed a single thing.

We'd just gotten back from a visit, and we started...talking. I don't know how it started or which one of us suggested it, but in the end we agreed. This is what will work for us. Even if we're not quite ready yet, this is what we were gonna do.

Bell's last foster home fell through. She was there for eight months, and for some reason, one day, she was just back the next time we visited. And that was our last straw.

So, we did something insane. Completely insane, but somehow not too insane for us to dismiss ourselves when one of us, I don't know which one, suggested that maybe—since we already love her and all—we should just...

We got married. Then we applied for a license. We'd already moved in together four months prior, a new apartment in the same building. Two bedroom. The plan was to still have separate rooms, sort of keeping our separate apartments alive while still living together. But that second bedroom quickly got redecorated.

Completely insane of us. But the day we brought her home...She had this little backpack. Red and faded. She also had her doll, the one I brought from the box. The one in the yellow dress. She's ten now, but still carries that thing around religiously. I hope she never grows out of it.

Her bedroom was kind of plain when we brought her home, but now it's pretty well decorated. She still likes princesses, so it's mostly colorful and full of cartoon princesses. She named the little fish in her room Flounder.