Diary of an OFW in Macau

April 24, 2024 - Month of challenges

4:25pm - I just got a lashing out. Hehe. I steamed the meat on the ref. It's not the usual stuff but I presumed it's for anty and the boy since it's shaped in balls. There are two balls. One bigger than the other so I thought it's anty's dinner. Tsk. Tsk. How wrong. If it's unusual I should call her. Then again she once said she hate being disturbed. Haha. Life ~ Oh life. 😵 Anty also mention about being tired of my brainlessness and it's getting hard on her if this continues. Well, accepted. I will never deny. I was so used to not using my brain and simply following. It takes me a minute or two to digest and make a reaction when conversing. It's really harsh that I'm just realizing how domesticated I was made into. All those years I can only obey and do as told, now it's biting me back. I became unable to voice out my thoughts. It's damning. Aigoo. Aigoo. It's really bad if this continues. But I'm also hoping I won't be renewed. Cause I want to work as caregiver somewhere else. I already applied and was told to attend the interview but alas. The distance is overseas so I cant. It's not online interview. Oh la la. I can message them and ask if I can do online interview. Albeit the time needs to be thoroughly scheduled. Aiya, it's really hard living with little commonsense. I totally lack it. My contract ends this October. I hope it ends like end end. I'm getting bored of my job. It's physically draining, mentally exhausting and emotionally stressful. The physical aspect means all my past beauty regime got cut off. If I am renewed then I will stay for another year but that's it. I plan to have a 2 year contract and travel countries. A caregiver job is preferable but domestic helper is also okay. Israel is no longer an option due to the war. I like Finland but that will require me 1 year language study or half million processing fee. It's still a valued option. Oh dear. I'm sleepy again. Why do I get sleepy more offen recently. It's bad news. I have to stay awake else i will be in big trouble.

Add to that. My savings is being depleted by my family. Tsk. I really want to just fuck off somewhere else and never go back. I'm so tired. I'm so burn out. I just want to relax. But financially I am not capable. Am in debt. Aiya. So fucking tired of this capitalist world. I hope those scammers who took my money and put me in debt to get their karma.