"𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗻𝗮𝗺𝗲?" Snow asked as curiosity coursed through his veins. In the past three months, he had seen her around the Capitol often and wanted to know more as the days passed.
The girl hesitated for a moment before speaking. "𝗖𝗮...
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┌─── ∘°❉°∘ ───┐
Calista's words had found and hit a susceptible spot in Elena, causing her heart to break into a million pieces and never be fixed again. She couldn't believe that Calista had felt that way and she hadn't noticed; her own daughter had suffered and she wasn't there to support her, brush her thumb on her cheek like she used to do when Calista was still a baby and promise her that everything was going to be okay.
After their argument, Elena spent the rest of the day in her bedroom doing nothing but thinking. She was lost in her thoughts, her mind kept traveling back to all the opportunities she had to take Calista and move somewhere else. Maybe then her husband hadn't left her, Calista wouldn't have gone through shit, and she would still have a perfect family. Was it selfish the fact that she hadn't chosen to abandon her people when she had the chance? Because she hadn't thought how all these would affect her family and chose to do what she felt was right.
On the other hand, she had never, all these years thought about herself, never. She always took care of the others and searched for possible ways to offer them anything they needed. So how could this be considered self-indulgence? The idea of moving to a new place only because she would be better and leaving everyone else behind had not once crossed her mind. A mixture of complicated feelings made their appearance in each thought of hers, making her even wonder what her role was anyway.
She had preferred a better life neither for herself nor for Calista when she had the opportunity. What kind of mother does a choice like that make her? A terrible one; maybe. Mothers were supposed to cause chaos only for their children to have perfect moments to narrate to their children in the future, but what Elena felt was that she had never offered these remarkable moments to Calista; and now it was too late.
Will Calista have anything beautiful to tell her kids or only how dark and disheartening her life had been? Elena was afraid to let her vulnerable daughter out there in a world where everyone waited for you in the smallest corner only to harm you and take away all your charm and hope; and what kept Calista still away from death's claws was hope. She couldn't lose that because then she would lose herself. Her mother couldn't let her stay at a house in which the most notorious— in a bad way — family lived.
As her mother she could recognize any sparkle between her and the young snow boy, she could see it in Calista's eyes every time she talked about him, even if it didn't happen often. But when it did, her blue pupils turned bigger, filled with emotion and enthusiasm, and her lips curled into a smile she always tried not to make obvious, but Elena always noticed. Deep inside her, she felt happy that her daughter had finally found some light in her darkness, to lead her to a better pathway with a brighter tomorrow, though she wasn't sure if Coriolanus Snow was the suitable person for this occasion.
Unlike Calista, who always lived with hope and faith, her mother was trapped in a small room where walls of her deepest fears encircled her, depriving her of every chance to see life from a different perspective. The days during the war still haunted her, as she had seen how sick people could become and in what monsters the instinct of survival turned them. They were willing to eat you alive without value if you had a family or not. So, even if the people in the district she was tired of calling home, were not bad, she had learned to trust no one as she would never know what their intentions were.
