⚠️⚠️⚠️Authors note : PLEASE READ !
this one is going to be extremely upsetting. it will include mentions of c/a and csa . so please if you don't feel comfortable or angry that I have chosen to write this please do not leave hate comments ,
with someone who has been through csa to me this is like spreading awareness and healing some of my mind knowing I'm not alone . thank you for ur time and thank you for reading it . This one hit home for me 🤍
📍MALIBU
⏰6:08pm
⚠️ : mentions of child csa / ca , self harm , flash backs , angst , sad , nightmares , fluff
2024
***
he was once again day dreaming for the millionth time in these past couple of weeks.
i stared at him from across the couch wondering what he must be thinking about
I noticed his body went tense so I tapped his leg that was next to me as he was laid on thr couch but on the other side.
his long legs were on my side.
"ax " I said as I tapped his leg immediately grabbing his attention. he looked a little startled when he looked at me a little bit of fear was in his eyes making me very confused but when he realised it was me his green eyes softened.
"mm what " he said quickly and I moved from the couch and laid next to him. I saw his eyes on me and his body shifted a little to me
he placed his head on my chest and hugged my waist tightly
"you okay ?" I asked him and he nodded rather quickly
i didn't believe him. "yeah im fine" he flashed me a quick smile and looked down. his lifted his chin up and he looked up at me
he didn't seem like his normal self at all
he was drifting somewhere else
"are you sure ?" I asked and he nodded at me once again rather quickly
i leaned in a pecked his lips and he pecked mine back
"you know you can talk to me about-"
I was cut off by axl getting up from the couch
"I'm going in the studio to go finish off a song" He said to me and I didn't say anything.
i knew he was lying because he finished it 2 months ago.
he leaned down and kissed my lips once again and then moved to my stomach and planted a sweet kiss to my pregnant 7 month pregnant stomach
i was having a girl.
Axl headed off into his studio which was down stairs.
the door slammed and echoed through the house but soon enough my 2 year old son started to cry on the baby monitor that was sitting on the coffee table in the middle of the living room
i sighed brushing my hair back and waddled my way upstairs into our sons nursery. I opened the door and I saw him standing up in his crib with rosy chubby cheeks , his eyes were puffy due to him just waking up and little tears were rolling down his cheeks
his green eyes looked into mine. Definitely got his fathers eyes. Gunner made grabby hands to me repeatedly crying the word 'mama' .
his ginger hair looked curly and big and it was going in all different kinds of directions,sticking out one place and another.
he gets his curly hair off me but he colour of his hair off his father , Axl.
"what's with all the tears" i pouted at him ,walking over and picking up out from his crib. i rested him on my hip and his arms wrapped around my neck as he held me tightly.
"did you want mama" I asked swaying side to side trying to ease him and calm him down from his crying
he nodded his little head as I began to walk out the room.
by the time I got downstairs he stopped crying and lifted his head looking around where he was .
"papa " Gunner mumbled looking around for Axl. i brushed his hair back and kissed his cheek looking at him as I grabbed his bottle of milk that was from the fridge.
