Meet Me on the Metro {No Longer Available}

Chapter 8

"Nobody said it was easy, oh it's such a shame for us to part. Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be so hard. I'm going back to the start." The Scientist Coldplay

Senior week has begun. Monday is senior Monday, Tuesday is pre graduation Tuesday and the last day of school for students, and Wednesday is graduation. Senior Monday consists of a morning assembly, recognition within classes, and the last meeting you will ever have with your club. Theatre always does a showcase open to parents who want to come, and other students. The assembly was a boring waste of time, as was the recognition within classes, and now the showcase was in full swing. I decided to wear my gala dress since I was head of the board and would have to make a final speech of some sort. I didn’t feel like performing anything.

“Leah, please perform something.” I sat backstage with Lane as one of the acts was on stage.

“I’m not in the mood, I’m sorry.”

“Please sing, act, do something! You need to!”

“I have nothing prepared.”

“Leah, please sing.”

“I am not going too.” Mr. Brown came over to where we were sitting. I have been in a perpetual bad mood the past few days. Either I’m getting cranky with someone or bursting into tears, I still haven’t gotten used to the fact that Tim is gone. If I could have spent the whole week in bed under my covers, I would have.

“Leah your singing for the final act,” Mr. Brown declared and then crossed his arms.

“Someone get Leah a mic!” Lane yelled to one of the stagehands.

“No, I’m not, I won’t do it.”

“As head of the board you will do it. I am not going to allow you to wallow in self-pity any longer. I know this is hard, and I let you give up on prom so I’m not going to let you miss your last theatre event.”

“Fine,” I scowled. Lane and I already found an apartment over the weekend, and are moving in in a week, and then I am going to take a few three week courses in July. My future was beginning, just not as I wanted it to.

“So now we have to pick a song.”

“I know one she knows by heart Mr. B, and we have the music.”

“What is it?”

“Unwritten.”

“Perfect, isn’t it Leah?”

“Fine,” they put a mic on me, and I was sent out on stage. I lived my last few minutes of theatre in the sun. Those were my last defining moments of high school. High school was a time of stupid relationships, and friendships for me. It was a time where I was able to find out who I wanted to be as a person and how I ultimately wanted to live my life. It was these last few defining moments of high school that make me look back on how far I’ve come inside myself and how much of a person I have really become. Tim helped me define some sketchy areas of my life, but it was mostly on my own. Tim was the one person however who accepted me as I came (Lane doesn’t count). He was the only guy to ever see me as I was, and not as what he wanted me to be. We were enough for each other. He was enough to me. That’s what he helped me figure out, I am who I am and I can’t change that. I also figured out that maybe love doesn’t exist, and it’s just something that we think we feel, but we are never really certain.

I thought that Tim loved me, but I guess I was wrong. I thought we would be together forever, but I guess I was wrong. I thought that he was going to ask me to marry him after graduation, but I guess I was wrong. I thought I was going to move in with him, but I guess I was wrong. I thought he would be the one to sweep me off my feet and marry me, but I was wrong. I thought that he would be the only one I would ever love, but I think I was wrong again. I thought that we were going to start a family, but I guess I was wrong. I was wrong about pretty much everything, and that’s what scares me. I am scared that the only person I will ever have feeling for just left me alone and I will never meet someone like him ever again. I am scared of dying alone with multiple cats. I am scared of losing everything. I am scared of failing at the real world. Tim was my escape, my protector if you want to call it that. The real world didn’t seem too bad when I was with him, and now as I stand with an inch between me and the real world I am as scared as hell because the real world is finally real. The real world scares me, because there is no next time like high school. If I screw up I can’t have a redo assignment. It looks so dark and empty and alone. That’s my fear, I am afraid of being alone.

Instead of facing my fear, I embraced it. I shut myself off from new people and stuck to myself and the people who I knew wouldn’t leave me. I walked across the stage at graduation and crossed into the real world. I faced everything as scared as hell. I moved into an apartment with Lane, with the fear still behind me. I didn’t want to go back to the place I was, so I focused on making it, and school. I didn’t have time for stupid things like guys, because I didn’t think there would ever be another Tim. But I lived, or else I wouldn’t be telling my story. The real world is brutally honest, and now I am not so scared because unlike some people I embraced my fear and now it is gone because I know what my fear is. I know what the real world is, and as it turns out it’s not so scary. Maybe that’s not what I was afraid of after all.

This chapter is super short, but for the flow of the story I am going to post the next chapter as well. Ugh, sometimes my computer hates me so if the format is weird, I is sorry.

-JoJo