Eternity is cold. // Stray Kids

while you pushed your knife through my back.

Hyunjin pushes a strand of hair out of his face. "Hyunjin, darling." Minho whispers in his ear, pushing his head against the wall. This was for what? What did he ever do to deserve this? Trying to protect Felix from something hyunjin knew he never deserved? He meant it when he said he would do whatever it took to keep him safe.

He ignores the way Minho is breathing heavily on his neck, ignores the white-hot fear running through his veins. If he had to do all of this to protect someone who never really understood the extent of what could happen to him. Hyunjin knew how Minho worked, he knew how all of them worked in ways he didn't even want to think about.

One day, he hoped he would get out of here. He hoped he would be able to get Felix, Jeongin and Jisung out too. They never deserved this, Hyunjin knew he didn't either. Hyunjin shudders when Minho puts a hand on the back of his neck. "Just give up, Hyunjin."

No matter what Minho said to him, Hyunjin was going to give in. it was for the sake of Felix. The sake of Jeongin and Jisung, There was no way he was ever going to let someone hurt them in the way Minho would hurt him. He couldn't save them from themselves. He couldn't have saved Felix from Jeongin, and he couldn't save Jeongin when Seungmin hurt him, but the least he could do was try. He could try to help them, protect them. He wanted to keep them safe.

Hyunjin shakes his head. "I'm not going to let you hurt them. Please, just leave them alone. Let—" Hyunjin cuts himself off when Minho hits him. The bright red shape of a hand print forms on his face, and he stares at Minho with a look of betrayal. Hyunjin instantly looks at the hand that was laid on him, unblinking.

It doesn't surprise him when Minho hits him again, harder, worsening the bruise he knows is going to form on his cheek from the force Minho put into his hits. Hyunjin flinches when Minho raises his hand for the third time, finally moving away from his so-called best friend. Minho glares at him.

"I thought you wanted me to take it out on you?" Minho mocks him, gripping Hyunjin's shoulder with such force, he assumes the color must be fading from it. Hyunjin bites down on his lip to avoid saying anything about the amount of pain his face is in. Hyunjin is shaking by the time Minho finally stops touching him.

Hyunjin thinks Minho must look at him for what seems like eternity, but in reality it had to have been twenty minutes. "I think next time you'll think twice before you offer yourself up in that way, Hyunjinnie." Minho's voice never trails from the mocking and teasing tone it had earlier. Hyunjin wishes he could hit Minho back, but he knows he would never be able to hurt his hyung.

He shakes his head. "No,"

"No?" Minho grins at him, Hyunjin wishes he could run away because it's fucking terrifying, but he knows that he can't. Hyunjin knows he can't let Minho lay a single hand on his babies. He was older than Jisung, Felix and Jeongin. He had to be the one to protect them, even if he really didn't know he was capable of doing it much. Being hit once was enough to completely break Hyunjin's spirit, but Minho didn't know that, did he?

There was no way he did. Hyunjin just had to keep up the act of not caring about being hit. He had to do this. He didn't care if he had only known Felix for three weeks. This was more about Jisung and Jeongin than anything. Hyunjin cared about Felix, he knew he did.

But Jisung and Jeongin were too important to Hyunjin to let Minho hurt them. They meant everything to him. Seungmin did too, but not anymore. Seungmin was not the person Hyunjin thought he was. Seungmin didn't matter anymore. Not after what he did to Jeongin.

Hyunjin was going to make sure that they all paid, in one way or a-fucking-nother.

"Oh, Hyunjin. What am I going to do with you?" Minho smiles at him. Hyunjin wishes he could hit Minho. Hyunjin wishes he had a knife on him, just so he could slash the smile off of Minho's face like Minho used to do to his wrists. Hyunjin's sure he would like that, after all, Minho had always been more fucked in the head than anyone liked to admit.

Hyunjin keeps his mouth shut, biting down harder on his bottom lip. He smells the metallic scent of his own blood, but he doesn't care. He could care less when he's in this situation. All he cares about now is making sure that the two people he loves most in the world– plus Felix, now– are okay.

He doesn't flinch when Minho raises his hand to hit him again, doesn't flinch when Minho hits him so hard that his face turns to the side. Doesn't flinch when all he can feel is the sting of his lip and how much the side of his face is burning up. He doesn't flinch when Minho runs his cold fingers across Hyunjin's crimson face.

"You're so fucking stubborn, Hyunjin." Minho raises his hand again, but instead of hitting hyunjin, he wraps it around the younger boy's neck and squeezes. Hyunjin gasps, effectively choking on the spit that was caught in his throat before Minho finally lets go of him.

Hyunjin's legs tremble, and he's surprised he doesn't fall when they almost give out under him. "You're going to fucking answer me, Hyunjin." Minho's looking at him as if he's about to kill Hyunjin. Hyunjin nods very slowly.

Hyunjin feels like the prey in a predator and prey situation. Normally, he doesn't think he would mind that too much, but when it's with Minho? He's fucking horrified. He knows that if he doesn't get him and his boys out of here soon enough, he is going to die. Hyunjin doesn't think he's ready to die yet, but he doesn't think he has a choice when it comes to his hyung. "I'm sure you're regretting your choice of taking Felix's place." Minho never stops smiling at him.

His entire body is shaking, and Minho never lets up on the way he fucking hits Hyunjin across the face. He doesn't know how long he stays there, he doesn't think he wants to know, either. Hyunjin stays there, dissociating enough to the point he doesn't even realize when Minho stops hitting him. He doesn't realize when Minho walks out of the room, even when the door slams shut behind him.

"Hyunjin?" A soft, quiet voice echos directly in his ear, and Hyunjin just wants to fucking scream. Without even thinking much about it, he throws a punch directly into the person's face. He still thinks it's Minho, he's too far gone to even realize it's not.

He doesn't realize that he's punching Felix until the younger boy is screaming at the top of his lungs. He doesn't process what's going on, even when Jisung and Jeongin both come running into the room to see what's going on.

It finally hits him ten minutes after the fact, when both him and Felix are in the bathroom. Felix's nose is bandaged from where Hyunjin had punched him so hard that he started to bleed. Jisung has Hyunjin in his lap, carefully applying lotion to the bruises on his face.

"What's going on?" Hyunjin asks, his words slurring in the process. Jeongin shakes his head from where he's pressed up against Felix's side. "Did–did I hurt Lix?" Hyunjin asks again.

Jeongin doesn't answer, Jisung just keeps delicately applying lotion to the scalding marks on Hyunjin's face.

It takes five minutes before Felix nods.

It takes five seconds before the words process in Hyunjin's mind and his heart is breaking into little pieces at the thought of ever hitting him. "It wasn't your fault, Hyunjin." Felix whispers into the room. it's so quiet, that Hyunjin swears he can hear it echo throughout the room.

"Jinnie?" Jisung asks five minutes later, once he's done with the lotion. "Did Minho hyung hit you?"

Hyunjin wishes he didn't have to answer that. He wishes that the answer wasn't yes. He wishes that he didn't have to see the look of horror on Jeongin and Jisung. Hyunjin isn't okay. But, neither are the other three.