Shadows

Three

When Friday came, we decided to reschedule our plans with everyone as it started raining. It was even predicted that it would snow and Prince didn't feel like getting out. I didn't want to force him to get out either. I spent the morning wiping Dominic off the face of the planet, at least that's what it felt like. What I was actually doing was removing Dominic's records from everything. His medical insurance, his college fund we had for him, and making sure his school removed his records. When that was done, I truly felt like it was over. Not the grieving, but feeling Dominic was magically going to come back. While I did this, Prince was lying in our bed and reading his father's Bible. I knocked on the door gently and he removed the Bible from his line of vision. His new curly Mohawk moved with the air from the ceiling fan. "Can I come visit?" I asked him. He laughed a little. "It's your room, too." He said. I smiled and walked over before getting into bed with him. Prince held the Bible with one hand while I slid under his arm to lay on his chest.

I didn't want to interrupt his reading. I just wanted to lay in Prince's arms while he was fronting. My head rose and fell as he sighed deeply. I closed my eyes hearing him turn the page. "Did you speak to your mother today?" He asked softly. I shook my head. I felt his lips on the top of my head and he closed the Bible and laid it beside us. Prince put his arms around me. "How are you feeling?" He asked me. "Worried." He kissed my head again and held me closer. He moved his kisses to my forehead. "I don't want be in this house. We should go on vacation." He said. I opened my eyes. "I don't want to go to Cali." I said to him. I wanted to show him I approved, but Cali would be just as bad for us. It was our vacation spot as a family. "Our friends are here." I said to him. Prince sighed. "I need to get away from Minnesota for a while." I picked my head up a little and propped it on my elbow.

"We can go anywhere you want, but going to California won't help." Prince rolled over and curled his arm under his head. "What about New York? I have family out there." That intrigued me. "Oh? I didn't know that." "Mmhmm. The woman who raised me lives there. I kinda lost communication with her when I moved back here at eighteen." I played with his curls. God, I've missed him with the curls. "Is she still alive?" I asked. Prince nodded. "She's my mom's sister. She's in her late forties, early fifties." I stayed quiet just to see if that's what he wanted to do. From the time we've met, his parents have been touchy. He didn't have any at our wedding. They probably never knew we had a baby. I watched his eyes scanning our bedroom wall behind me. "There's something I keep thinking about that's bothering me." I stroked his arm. "Mmhmm. What is it, baby?" I asked. Prince curled up tighter to allow me to hold his hand. "I don't care about what anyone says if we decide to be parents again. I don't know if you're thinking it...but I've been thinking about it a lot. But...I want to leave it up to you." Prince whispered. The back of his hand brushed against my cheek gently. I didn't expect Prince to talk about this so soon. He rolled over onto his back and rubbed his face. "Sorry. I just...Can't stop thinking about trying to make this new life normal. I'm just trying to find a fast fix and to me that seems like the most logical thing. I know it's not, but-" "Shhh." I covered his lips with two of my fingers. "I understand your thought process, Prince. Just give me some time, okay?" He kissed my fingers.

"I'm thinking about going back to school." He sat up on his elbow. "That'll be good. What do you want to go to school for?" I smiled a little. "Psychology. I think it'll be good for you." He smiled a little. "That's fitting for you. You've been doing so much research on DID since we had Dominic." Hearing his support made me realize it was the right thing to do. "How about I do this..." I got out of bed. "I send a letter to New York colleges and Minnesota colleges. Whatever one I get accepted to is where we'll go." He tensed. "I...I really want to get out of Minnesota for a while. At least a year." He said. "Okay, I'll apply to every college I can in New York. If I don't get accepted to any of them, then I'll come up with another plan." Prince got out of bed and walked over to me. "I'm happy for you. You've always wanted to go back to school." Prince stroked down my cheek. I nodded and put my arms around his neck. "To a new life, my love." I told him. He gave me the softest kiss. "To a new life." He said.