F.R.I.E.N.D.S. -- Season One

The One Where it All Began (Pilot)

Kat sat at Central  Perk with her friends. Joey, Monica, Phoebe and her brother Chandler. Joey was teasing Monica about a date she had.

"There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!" Monica defended, leaning against the couch and looking annoyed.

"C'mon, you're going out with the guy, there's gotta be something wrong with him." Joey sat in a chair, the back against his chest. Kat giggled but silenced when Monica glared at her.

Chandler was sitting on the couch arm, "So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?" Monica rolled her eyes as Kat giggled again, this time not even trying to hide it.

"He's also got a limp and a missing eye," Kat added, suddenly serious.

Phoebe turned to her and asked, "Wait, does he eat chalk?" Everybody but Kat gave her a perplexed look while, in a fit of laughter, Kat tumbled off her couch arm and on the ground. Joey helped her up as she continued laughing. 

"Cause I just don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl-- oh." Phoebe looked down, disappointed.

"Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and-- not having sex."

"Sounds like a date to me," Chandler remarked. Kat agreed with him.

***

"Alright, so I'm back in high school, I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I'm totally naked." 

"Oh yeah. Had that dream," everyone chorused, agreeing with Chandler. Kat accepted her tea from the waiter as she sat on the arm of Joey's armchair.

Chandler continued his story, "Then I look down, and I realize there's a phone... there."

Joey looked a little confused, "Instead of--?"

"That's right!" Chandler glared at his best friend.

"Never had that dream." Joey said at the same time Phoebe replied, "No."

"All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. And it turns out it's my mother, which is very- very weird, because-- she never calls!" Kat nodded in agreement as she sipped her tea.

***

Ross entered Central Perk, looking mortified and heartbroken. "Hi."

Joey looked at him and said, "This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself."

Monica turned around and held her brother's hand to calm him. "Are you okay, sweetie?"

"I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck..." Ross walked around to the side of the coffee table that Phoebe and Chandler were sitting at while Chandler munched a cookie.

"Cookie?" Chandler offered.

Monica turned to explain to everyone. "Carol moved her stuff out today." She turned back to Ross. "Let me get you some coffee." Ross sat down in the seat where his sister was sitting a moment ago as she walked away.

Phoebe grimaced, "Ooh. Ooh," and started plucking and moving the air around Ross.

"No, no don't!" Ross put his hands up and Phoebe stopped. "Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay? I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy."

Monica turned around and she and Kat said, "No you don't." in sync.

"No I don't." Ross agreed. "To hell with her, she left me!"